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"That's all we get around here: Gimme, gimme, gimme."
Tags:charity, charities, philanthropy, philanthropist, philanthropists, grant application, grant applicants, research grant, research grants, research foundation, research foundations, academic grant, academic grants, handout, handouts, insurance, insurance company, insurance companies, insurer, insurers, insurance claim, insurance claims, gimme gimme gimme
Drive-In Claim Center
"Insurance covered the broken ankle, but the deductible was painful."
Home Owner's Insurance Adjuster of the Year
"If you look carefully you'll see that all claims are invalid except on alternate Tuesdays in June and when Venus is in alignment with Mars."
'Why'd we deny your claim? I'll have to check our records.'
'I've had a chance to look over your policy and I'm afraid you're not covered.'
'We deny most claims, but that's how we keep your premiums so low.'
'So you say the cash box was stolen.'
'You can NOT be turned down for this insurance, but we reserve the right not to pay off on claims.'
'Being hooked on the soaps doesn't qualify you for disability payments.'
'I'm afraid, unless you can show proof you're employed by God, I'll have to deny this claim.'
'I think you misunderstood. The million dollar umbrella policy only covers you for claims involving an umbrella.'
'Adjuster of the Year' reads a Sports Illustrated at his desk that has two boxes, 'Claims Denied' and 'Claims Paid.' The first has an over flowing stack of paper in it, the other a single sheet of paper.
"I no longer worry about my new car getting dinged in the parking lot."
Insurance co. claims department.
Nellie resolves to find a new insurance company.
'The object is to make money, not pay claims! Don't make me tell you again!'
Insurance claim on Grandma
'Oh come on, a little touch up paint and a soft cloth, I can buff that out.'
"Some moron tried parking on my roof!"
"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"
Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!
'Now wait a minute...who's at fault here?'
Tags:alien, ufo, crash, car insurance, car crash, car crashes, traffic collision, traffic collisions, aliens, ufos, spaceship, spaceships, space travel, insurance claim, auto insurance, traffic cop, traffic cops, traffic police, transport police, transport cop, transport cops, sci fi, sci-fi, science-fiction, science fiction
"Act of God? Not a problem—we sue God."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, law office, law offices, law, legal, lawsuit, lawsuits, sue, suing, suit, suits, god, act of god, acts of god, no problem, insurance, insurance claim, insurance claims, insurance adjuster, insurance adjusters, insurance company, insurance companies, religion, religious, court, courts, court case, court cases, trial, trials, weather, bad weather, natural disaster, natural disasters