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I had a career in theatre, and television but I quit because I couldn't suppress my passion for insurance sales
"To get life insurance, you have to give me your family medical history, what's so hard about that?"
"Do we want to be members of a small, elite club of families willing to respond to insurance-survey questions during dinnertime?"
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Insurance agents in Heaven.
"How often have you asked yourselves 'who would pay the ransom if I were kidnapped by terrorists?'"
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'I need to buy nine life insurance policies.'
"No physical is required."
"...and these are my children, Risk and Benefit."
"No, Mrs. Johnson, in life insurance we don't have a policy that provides for the 'full replacement value' for your husband."
'Are you completely covered in case you get hit by a coconut?'
Tags:insurance salesmen, insurance salesman, insurance sales, desert island, desert islands, deserted island, deserted islands, shipwreck, shipwrecks, life insurance, insurance cover, insurance covers, insurance policy, insurance policies, head injury, head injuries, coconut, coconuts, rescue operation, rescue, rescues, rescue mission
"We'll keep you poor throughout your life, but at least you'll be rich after you die."
'Furthermore, this is the only Home Insurance policy that covers you for loss due to global warming.'
"We sell health plans, not sick plans."
"We do have a 'No driver refused' policy, however, that requires a certain stipulation..."
"There is a cat in this basket and I want to take out baggage insurance that will insure that it gets forwarded to some godforsaken place in the middle of nowhere!"
Tags:insurance salesmen, insurance salesman, insurance sales, baggage insurance, luggage insurance, cat, cats, dog, dogs, feline, felines, canine, canines, natural enemy, natural enemies, pet, pets, travel insurance, travel insurances, holiday, holidays, vacation, vacations, tourist, tourists, destination, destinations, cat basket, cat baskets
"He wins every year -- the man could sell an annuity to a mayfly."
Tags:sales, salesman, salespeople, saleswoman, salesperson, saleswomen, salesmen, selling, salesmanship, award, awards, awards show, awards party, sales department, sales departments, sales people, sales person, insurance, insurance salesman, insurance salesperson, insurance saleswoman, insurance sales, insurance salesmen, insurance saleswomen, insurance salespeople, annuities, annuity
'If you insure Mama and Baby Bear's chairs with us, you'll qualify for our multi-chair discount.'
'That's the price for all the King's horses or all the King's men. If you want to be covered by all the King's horses and all the King's men...'
'Can I interest you in insuring against your insurance not paying out?'
'Don, are we interested in a consumee's protection plan?'
'That takes care of health, life, homeowner's, and car -- now, how about some alien abduction insurance?'
ACME Insurance - Have you had an accident lately? 'I had an accident after asking someone if they'd had an accident lately'
"Look, we sell insurance so cut out all the 'meaning of life stuff!"
Life insurance salesman running away from a man being chased by the Grim Reaper.
"Morning, sir. Can I interest you in a life insurance policy this morning?"