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'That's how much time your HMO allots for bypass surgery.'
'Unfortunately, your insurance only allows for treatment by doctors who scored 68 or less on their medical boards.'
'Just so you know, a broken wrist caused by punching your doctor in the eye is NOT covered by your insurance!'
"By your own admission, Bennett, you have twelve children. I'm afraid our insurance company defines that as a preexisting condition."
Tags:health insurance, health plan, health plans, health care plan, health care plans, insurance, insures, health-care plan, health care plans, health-care plans, health care plan, health care cover, health-care cover, preexisting condition, preexisting conditions, health, healthy, children, child, kid, kids, large family, health problem, health problems, perspective, approach
'Well, what do you expect when you meet a guy in an alley and buy health insurance called Vito's HMO?!'
Tags:health insurance, insure, insured, insures, insurer, insurers, insuring, medical insurance, dodgy, hmo, doctor, doctors, bed, beds, hospital, hospitals, risk, risky, cheap, cheaper, budget, budgets, budgeting, bargain, bargains, bargaining, bargained, sale, sales, sell, selling, sells, close to home
'Look through her purse and see if she has a Triple-A card.'
Lemonade: 'Closed. Lost Our Insurance.'
'If you were a girl, my car insurance would be 30 percent less. I want you to wear this whenever you're driving.'
Tags:insure, insures, insurance, insurances, insured, girl, girls, cheap, cheaper, cheapen, cheapens, dress, dresses, skirt, skirts, drive, drives, driving, driver, drivers, car, cars, auto, autos, automobile, automobiles, wear, wears, wearing, deceive, deceives, deception, deceptive, fraud, close to home
"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."
"It doesn't look good. Leave it with us overnight and hope it gets stolen."
'We're playing Doctor.. I'm filing for insurance claims, and Tommy's on the phone to his lawyer.'
Disaster Waiting to Happen Room.
'Your insurance company wouldn't cover anesthesia, but they did buy the medical staff earmuffs to protect ours ears from your screaming.'
"Laughter is the best medicine, but your insurance only covers chuckles, snickers and giggles."
Misread medical policy.
'The good news is your HMO has waived your co-payment on the autopsy.'
This is Ralph, your anestesiologist.
'Hi, I'm calling to check to see if 'alien attack' is covered on my auto insurance...'
'I'm a struggling actor hired by your insurance company. Your policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'
'The tests show that you've developed an ulcer from trying to figure out your health insurance coverage.'
Computer sales: we now offer libel insurance for bloggers.
'They get me a lot of respect on the freeway.'
"What the large print giveth. . .the small print taketh away."
'Before you know it you'll be out swinging a golf club at your insurance agent.'
"Another alternative is to freeze you until some future insurance company would pay for your medical procedure."