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"We even tried a visit from a celebrity."
Coma for twenty years
"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."
Tags:marriage, married life, married, divorce, divorced, divorcing, marital, breakup, break up, breakups, break ups, break-up, break-ups, hospital, hospitals, medical, emergency, emergencies, life changing event, waiting room, waiting rooms, remarry, worse than breaking up by text, illness, ill, sick, sickness, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeons, intensive care, health care, side effect, side effects, recovery, recovering, recover, bearer of bad news, good news and bad news, good news, bad news
'The survival of this patient is a true testimony to the blessing of modern science.'
'It's bad enough that you dropped your end of the stretcher, but did you have to yell 'BOMBS AWAY'?'
'When this line goes flat and the beeping stops, call me.'
'He's resting comfortably.'
'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'
'You could go home tomorrow, but it will take the plumber three days to disconnect you.'
'He's not in anything like intensive care. In fact, we're sort of ignoring him.'
"Will he ever be able to produce revenue again?"
Tags:doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, intensive care, waiting room, waiting rooms, waiting area, medical, medicine, near death, seriously injured, death, family, marriage, married life, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, wife, wives, husband, husbands, income, money, salary, revenue, employment, job, work, career, greed, greedy, selfish, gold digger, gold diggers, good news, bad news
Playing Peek A Boo in the ICU.
"I was able to get in one last lecture about diet and exercise."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, intensive care, waiting area, waiting areas, lecture, lectures, last lecture, death, dead, diet, diets, eating healthy, the importance of eating healthy, exercise, fitness, exercising, the importance of exercise, too late, widow, widows, grieving, mourning, wife, wives, bedside manner, overweight, obesity, obesity crisis, health problem, health problems, health issue, health issues, cause of death, bad news
"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."
Tags:irs, i.r.s., inland revenue service, dying dead, cold comfort, priorities, wrong priorities, bad priorities, bedside manner, surgery, in surgery, surgeon, surgeons, operation, operations, intensive care, tax, taxes, unpaid taxes, tax avoidance, tax evasion, tax dodging, tax avoider, tax avoiders, tax dodger, tax dodgers, tax evader, tax evaders, offshore account, offshore accounts, offshore bank account, offshore bank accounts, offshore banking, tax haven, tax havens
"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."
"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."
Tags:medicine, medicines, medic, medical, medics, medical joke, modern medicine, modern world, exploit, exploitation, consumerism, consumer, capitalist, capitalism, private, private healthcare, healthcare, health, public healthcare, medicare, medi care, nhs, national health service, pro nhs, pro medicare, national health care, obamacare, death, dead, family, bitter humor, bitter humour, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour, console, consoling, consolation, intensive care, sick, sickness, ill, illness, illnesses, sicknesses, doctor, doctors, surgeon, surgeons, surgery
'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'
Intensive Care in the Community
"Dead? He gets that a lot."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, waiting area, waiting areas, waiting room, waiting rooms, intensive care, death, dead, bad news, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, dead husband, dead husbands, widow, widows, normal, usual, uncaring, cold, callous, unmoved
'I hate to tell you this, but that should be intensive care.'
'That's the radio, Allison, but I caught the symbolism.'
'Well, he's lost a lot of candy but we've managed to stabilize him.'
Hospital Admissions: 'Intensive and/or expensive care?'
Hospital - Intensive Billing Unit.
'Wake up! You've got to take a new disability test...'
Tags:nhs, national health service, coma, comas, coma units, benefits assessment, benefits assessments, coma unit, intensive care, benefits, disability, disability rights, benefit fraud, sickness benefit, coma, ill, illness, sick, sickness, benefits, doctor, doctors, gps, health, test, tests, testing, hospital, hospitals, benefits frauds, benefits cheat, benefits cheats