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'I lost my homework on the cloud.'
"Would it be too much to ask to get a DSL in here?"
"At this point, strangly enough, the entire office lost internet service."
'It has been moved and seconded that we find a new name.'
"I said, can you hear me now...?!"
Man stranded on an island tries to get wifi coverage.
"We need an internet service that's faster than our bad news."
"Yeah sure, I can erase all the silly videos of you that your master has posted on the internet. It's my most popular service..."
FAQs about the internet
"Yes, I know what's going on in the world. That's still no excuse for my Internet being down all day."