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"Broadband...yeah, it's great, now our totally useless website loads even faster."
"I've met someone with a faster modem."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, couple, couples, dating, date, dates, marriage, marriages, divorce, divorces, divorcing, splitting, separating, breakup, breakups, breaking up, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, technology, computer, computers, modem, modems, internet, speed, internet speed, download speed, online, faster, excuse, excuses, modern life
'We've got the fastest Internet available, but an old computer. That means we're going nowhere fast."
Broadband is Near
Tags:apocalypse, the apocalypse, end of days, the end of days, end of the world, the end of the world, doomsayer, doomsayers, scaremonger, scaremongerer, doom merchant, doom merchant, prophet, prophets, broadband, internet, the internet, modern tech, modern technology, modern technologies, placard, placards, internet speed, internet speeds, no internet, bad internet
"Mind if I hang out by your computer? It's not often a snail meets something that's slower than it."
Tags:snail, snails, processing speed, processing speeds, internet speed, internet speeds, computer speed, computer speeds, bug, bugs, insect, insects, wifi speed, wifi speeds, wireless speed, wireless speeds, internet connection, wifi connection, wireless connection, computer user, computer users, frustration, frustrations
'It has been moved and seconded that we find a new name.'
'When we finish installing fibre optic cables, we will be able to transmit error messages to your computer thousands of time faster.'
Life Remaining Progress Bar
"Living with Michael is like living with a slow internet connection. I keep waiting for the content to load."
"I need a slower internet connection."
'It was terrible. My life flashed before my eyes. The it started buffering.'
New York with free high-speed WiFi
'This says anger spreads faster than positive emotions on the Internet.'
'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'
'When the computer senses that you are in a hurry, it automatically slows down.'
'3 Second Loading Zone.'
"This is taking forever! - How fast was the internet when you were a kid, Grandpa?"
Tags:generation gap, generation gaps, grandfather, grandfathers, granddad, granddads, grandparent, grandparents, grandkid, grandkids, grandchild, grandchildren, internet connection, internet connections, internet speed, internet speeds, download, downloads, downloading, reminisce, reminiscing, technological advances
Dad is "Buffering" on the sofa
Tags:nap, naps, napping, napper, nappers, couch potato, couch potatoes, lazy, laziness, sedentary lifestyle, sedentary lifestyles, buffer, buffers, buffering, computer jargon, family life, family-life, down time, down-time, recupriating, downloading, download, downloads, internet connection, internet speed
'Could this broadband be any slower?'
"It's actually much quicker than our broadband!"
'He claims to have the best wi-fi hot spots in the whole of the town.'
'Our computer network slows down every time someone orders a refrigerator from our website.'
'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'