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More and more people around the world are asking to be buried WITH their mobile phones, in case of a premature burial...
"What are you in for?"
'And I think I speak for everyone here today in saying, Gordon wasn't the most likeable of characters.'
Here Lies P_T_R W_I_L__S: Inventor of the Crossword Puzzle
"Tell me, if one is driven to anger when six feet under how does one turn in the grave . . . shoulder-to-shoulder or head-to-toe?"
"I don't know why I bother coming to all these commemorations - none of them will come to mine."
Here Lies John Watson Dominoes Champion
Desert Island Inmate