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"Sorry about that resumé. I haven't had much call recently for words or math."
"We do value optimism here, but nobody is going to be influenced by happy faces in the margins of your resume."
"If we give you an office with a window, how do we know you won't just fly away?"
Tags:bird, birds, birdman, birdmen, hiring, hiring process, hire, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, human resources, hr, h.r., recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, job application, job applications, applicant, applicant, searching for work, looking for a job, applying for a job, searching for a job, employee, employment, promotion, promotions, office manager, office managers, office management, businessman, businessmen, office, offices, office space, office spaces, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism
"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."
Tags:cat, cats, feline, felines, hiring, hiring process, hire, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, human resources, hr, h.r., recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, job application, job applications, applicant, applicant, searching for work, looking for a job, applying for a job, searching for a job, employee, employment, promotion, promotions, c.v., c.v.s, cv, curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, education, educated, college, university, uni, ivy league, college degree, college degrees, mba, ba, b.a., bachelor’s degree, bragging, bragging, puffery, showboat, showboating, bluster, boast, boasting, flex, flexing, braggart
"Long hours are no problem – I mean it's not like the job involves heavy lifting or anything."
"Humility is a virtue, but not on a resume."
Tags:recruitment, recruitments, recruiter, recruiters, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, hr department, hr departments, interview, interviews, interviewee, interviewees, job seeker, job seekers, job hunter, job hunters, job application, job applications, resume, resumes, cv, c.v., humility, humble
"I called you back for a second interview to show you the origami I make with your résumé."
"Other than 'banging supermodels' and 'having a wee' on my grave, where do you see yourself in 5 years."
Tags:interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, job candidate, job candidates, bad candidate, bad candidates, misogynist, misogynists, misogyny, where do you see yourself in 5 years, 5 year plan, 5 year plans, rude, rudeness, crude, crudeness
'What about short-term? Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'
"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"
"I'm sensing confidence, boldness, and moral sensibility. You're not going to turn out to be a whistleblower, are you?"
'We'll keep your application on file and if we ever lower our standards...'
'Besides a great smile, do you have any other qualifications we could consider?'
'Where do you see yourself in five years? Still looking for work?'
"You're desperate - I like that."
Tags:interview, interviews, interviewing, interviewee, interviewer, interviewers, interviewees, recruit, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, job, jobs, job search, career, careers, job recruiter, job recruiters, corporate recruitment, corporate, hiring, hired, hire, hiring manager, hiring managers, unemployed, unemployment, desperate, desperation, need work, application, applied, resume, cv, credentials, skills
"Any other strengths?"
Industry regulation and de-regulation
Tags:news, the news, news reader, newsreader, news commentator, news commentators, tv news, television news, news program, news programs, news programme, news programme, interview, interviews, interviewee, interviewees, politician, politicians, answer the question, avoiding the question, fake news, confuse the issue, confusing the issue, industry regulation, deregulation, industry deregulation, political centre, politcal center, indecisive, indecisiveness, vague, vagueness, non committal, non-committal, toe the party line, party line the party line, modern life, modern times
"We expect strong performance but not strong opinions."
Tags:interview, interviews, interviewers, interviewer, interviewee, interviewees, performance review, performance reviews, annual review, annual reviews, strong performance, strong performer, strong performers, opinion, opinions, opinionated, company culture, company cultures, culture of complacency, corporate
'I'm very impressed with how you effectively dodged every one of my questions.'
'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'
"I'd rather not talk about my pain right now, Linda—I'd rather talk about my book."
Tags:author, authors, writer, writers, write, writing, book, books, novel, novels, interview, interviews, talk show, talk shows, host, hosts, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, television, televisions, tv, tvs, tv show, tv shows, television show, television shows, show, shows, off topic, literature, literary, literacy
'We're a bit tight on space.'
"Well, Mr Macfarlane, what makes you think that you'd be a good fit for this firm?"
'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'
"… and exactly how many years were you a village idiot?"
Tags:interview, interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, work experience, previous employment, job seeker, job seekers, village idiot, village idiots, jester, jesters, court jester, court jesters, medieval court, medieval courts, royal court, royal courts, medieval, middle ages