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'Well, Mr. Bell, I must say in all my years in this industry I've never conducted an interview with someone so devoid of even a semblance of professionalism... You're hired.'
'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'
'I want my phone call!'
Personnel: 'Next question, what was the reason for leaving your last job?' Reply: 'I got sick of being questioned about everything I did!'
'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'
The True Story Of Vanilla Pudding
"You say your biggest faults are working too hard and blind loyalty to your employer. What do you take me for… An idiot?"
Tags:fault, faults, weakness, weaknesses, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, skill, skills, hire, hires, hired, hiring officer, hiring officers, employer, employers, kiss up, kisses up, kissing up, suck up, suck ups, sucking up, biggest fault, biggest weakness, greatest weakness, lie, lies, lying, impress, impresses, impressing, good impression, good impressions
"What the hell? We could use an idiot."
Tags:idiot, idiots, hiring, hire, hires, hired, new guy, new guys, diversity, workplace diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, positive discrimination, moron, morons, unqualified, incompetent, incompetence, application, applications, interview, interviews, interviewing, job interview, job interviews, worker, workers, working, colleague, colleagues, co-worker, co-workers
"You should be aware that we already have a strong in-house candidate."
Tags:candidate, candidates, job candidate, interview, interviews, interviewing, subservient, subservience, kiss butt, kisses butt, kissing butt, suckup, suckups, sucking up, suck up, sucks up, qualification, qualifications, skill, skills, skillset, skillsets, skill set, skill sets, job interview, job interviews, lost cause, lost causes, hopeless, hopelessness
"In my youth I was a libertarian."
"We don't require you to suffer fools gladly, but it's very strongly encouraged."
'I like your initiative. You've got the job.'
"I've been married for twenty years. How's that for conflict resolution?"
Tags:conflict resolution, strengths, weaknesses, interview, interviews, interviewing, cv, curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, office, offices, businessman, businessmen, business, businesses, executive, executives, husband, husbands, wife, wives, relationship, relationships, couple, couples, spouses, spouse, marriage, married
"As I said earlier, Michelle, I won't answer questions about economic or foreign policy. I'm here to talk about my sexual escapades."
Tags:politician, politicians, scandal, scandals, brag, brags, bragging, interview, interviews, interviewing, corrupt politician, corrupt politicians, distraction, distractions, distracting, important issue, important issues, focus, focuses, focusing, tabloid, tabloids, tabloid sensationalism, substantive issue, substantive issues, policy, policy issues, tv interview, tv interviews, deflect, deflects, deflecting
'Could you repeat the question?'
Tags:box, boxing, boxer, boxers, boxes, head injury, head injuries, punch, punches, punched, punching, puncher, punchers, fight, fights, fighting, concussion, concussions, amnesia, injury, injuries, injured, interview, interviewed, interviews, interviewing, memory loss, memory, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"Sorry - we require at least three fake references."
"I was the first in my family to lie about going to college."
"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."
Tags:recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, interview, interviews, interviewing, interview skills, multitask, multitasking, employment, employee, employees, employer, employers, job, jobs, career, careers, distraction, distractions, hiring manager, hiring managers, hiring, first impression, first impressions, strengths, weaknesses, selling point
Tags:baseball, base ball, pitch, pitches, pitching, pitcher, pitchers, audition, auditions, auditioning, try out, try outs, tryout, tryouts, trial, trials, like, likes, love, loves, personality, personalities, interview, interviews, interviewing, interviewed, question, questions, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"You don't look like a Dave."
"It's life in a fish bowl, …. What else can I say?"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, taking animals, fish, underwater, fishbowl, fishbowls, goldfish, goldfish bowl, goldfish bowls, fish tank, fish tanks, aquarium, aquariums, life in a fishbowl, privacy, lack of privacy, invasion of privacy, media, press, reporter, reporters, journalist, journalists, journalism, interview, interviews, interviewing, interviewer, interviewers, paparazzi, celeb, celebs, celebrity, celebrities, fame, famous, famous person, famous people, being famous
Phil blows his interview before even sitting down.
"I gotta tell ya, these embezzlement convictions raise a red flag."
Tags:business, personnel, crime, ethics, moral relativity, jargon, application, applications, criminal history, criminal history, red flag, red flags, conviction, convictions, embezzlement, embezzle, embezzles, embezzling, red flag, red flags, job application, job applications, job interview, job interviews, interviewing, warning, warning sign, warning signs, corporate crime, corporate criminal, white collar crime, white collar crimes, mankoff
"Most of all, I enjoy being able to work at home."
"You know, you misspelled 'perfectionist.'"
Tags:perfectionist, perfectionists, perfection, ocd, obsessive compulsive disorder, cv, curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, interview, interviews, interviewing, office, offices, businessman, businessmen, business, businesses, executive, executives, businesswoman, businesswomen, spelling, spelling error, spelling errors