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"This quarter we're very bullish on red."
"Frankly, sir, you don't look like the mutual fund type."
'If it weren't for the fees on my fees, I wouldn't make any money.'
'Would you like to make 14% a year on that money? I'm an investment counselor.'
"First of all, Mr. Keller, I'll buy you a new shirt."
"You wouldn't believe how good they are. I'm making money on my asbestos and horseshoe stocks."
"In layman's terms, it's a loud screech followed by a loud crash."
Lew Yomp Jr: Investment Counselor & Elvis Look Alike.