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"I'm so glad you've called to offer me this investment opportunity because it gives me a chance to test my new telephonic death ray."
"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"
"And then I thought, what better hedge than a uranium centrifuge?"
'I'll show you my investment opportunity if you'll show me yours.'
"Your cold feet are dure to exposure to investment opportunities."
"Tell me more about Armageddon. I think it may have potential as an exchange-traded fund."
'Any investment objective is just to keep up with tht price of gas and prescription drugs.'
'It turns out it wasn't an Internet scam after all. It was just a really bad investment idea.'
'Haven't I seen this 'once in a lifetime' investment opportunity before?'
"I've checked it out and both my accountant and attorney have checked it out and while interesting I think, at this time, I'll pass."
Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.
"Well, how were we supposed to know you were busy trying to lure a Fortune 500 company to our town?"
'It sounds like a wonderful investment opportunity but all my money is invested in cash.'
'Welcome to Shouda, Wouda, Couda, the investment hindsight show.'
'I chase women, but only to tell them about investment opportunities.'
"Trust me ... what have you got to lose?"
"He died from eyestrain...read every prospectus they ever sent him."
"I offer many investment opportunities."
'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'
"The Pharaoh wants me to invest in one of his new building projects, but I'm afraid it's all just a big pyramid scheme."
"If you're rich, I have a great investment for you. If you're poor, why are we talking?"
"Good day, young sir! Would you care to exchange your cows for some preference shares in Beanstalk Development Industries?"
"How many investment apps will this get me?"