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'Hon, come quick! I think we have a major computer bug.'
"Have you tried switching him off and switching him back on again."
"I'm demoting you from the Genius Bar to the Educated Guess Counter."
"Do you have any 'Sorry to hear about your computer problems again'?"
Computer health check
'I was using a program to help me manage my teaching load.'
'The longest time that the expensive software hasn't worked? Who cares - most of the time my expensive employees don't work either.'
'Are you still frustrated with the computer, dear?'
'Quick get the teacher! I took an online ad survey and somehow I uploaded our student teacher!'
"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."