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'Stop staring at my wife.'
"Unfortunately I danced with a girl who danced with a man who was a vicious bastard."
"Oh, loosen up, Beveridge! Boobs are back."
"Don't ring me here, darling. My husband's the jealous type."
"Yes, I've got a lover and he forgot his underpants. Please don't ask 'what does he have that I don't have?'"
"Oh no...my husband! Quick, hide!"
"She isn't a 'young lady'. That's my wife!"
'Your explanation for all these business dinners with my wife better be good!'
"Hi there! I'm from the TV show '24 Hour Wardrobe Makeover'..."
'Robert insists my dress is too short.'
'Are you not looking at my bird?'
"Freddie really loves me. He didn't just put a ring on my finger. He also banded my leg."
"John, I've told you before that my lovers should be recycled, not composted!"