Jesus Freak Cartoons and Comics

"Mind if I thump it? I'm a Bible-thumper."

"Please don't knock on my door to blather on about your fictional obsessions. I don't knock on your door to blather on about Star Trek and Doctor Who."

"Gods are imaginary friends that have evolved the ability to spread from one human host to another. They are communal parasites, and you are carriers."

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

"I already know about religion. That's why I'm an atheist."

"We have a choice between worshiping God or going to hell because he's given us free will."

"We could have a cure for cancer, but atheists like you won't pray for it."

"I hope I never insult your beliefs by accident."

"I'm not 'coercing' anyone. I'm just explaining what you must do to avoid going to hell."

"I see no logic in the servant of an all-knowing, all-powerful deity requiring funds to do his bidding."

"Which god? Mahaviva? Vishnu? Ganeshe? Oden? Maui?"

"Have you noticed you perceive God's opinions as being the same as your own?" "That you consider only the parts of the Bible you like to be his?" "That's because you are God." "And he only exists in your mind." "God thinks you're a jerk!"

"My mother broke up with Jesus in college; he wouldn't return her calls."

"That's not his real name, of course. His real name is Yeshua. It was translated into Greek as 'Içsous'. Then English translators misspelled it as 'Jesus'. Christians have been saying it wrong ever since...... ...I'm sorry to interrupt you. You were

"I have the same relationship with Sherlock Holmes. He protects me, guides my destiny, and I... Oh, wait... You were talking about God. Sorry, I always get them mixed up because they're both imaginary."

"If Jesus had been executed 80 years ago, would we be wearing gas chambers?"

"My favorite part was when your god sacrificed himself to himself to save humanity from himself."

"If Yeshua returned, he'd probably ask: 'Who's this Jesus person people keep talking about? He sounds fake.'"

"Can you bless all water on Earth, turning it all into holy water instantly? Or do blessings have a maximum range or a volume limit or something? And would that kill all vampires?"

"Four tons of confetti fell on evangelical Trump supporters last night."

"My god is the one true god!"

"Heaven and hell are powerful and shamefully obvious tools for controlling the gullible. If you can convince people that their sacrifices in this life will be paid for in the next - you can take everything from them. If only there was... ...Hey, look!

"Lies need regular reinforcement to be believed. But truths are self-evident... No one needs weekly reminders that water flows downhill."

"Jesus was a champion of the poor. If he came back today, you would not be able to hear him over the sound of religious conservatives booing his liberal agenda."

"Hey look - God's plan."