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'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'
"You just self-deprecated yourself right out of a job."
Tags:job interview, job interviews, personnel, hr, human resources, self-deprecation, self deprecation, self-deprecated, self deprecated, fire, fires, fired, firing, performance review, performance appraisal, job appraisal, job review, personality type, personality types, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, modest, modesty, loser, losers, lose out, loses out, losing out, miss out, misses out, missing out
"I've got some skills - I'm just not sure they add up to a 'set.'"
"I'm proud of that resumé but I'm sensing 'stickler for the truth'."
Tags:resume, resumes, cv, hr, human resources, personnel, job interview, job interviews, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, dishonest, dishonesty, stickler, sticklers, truth, truthness, honest, honesty, honestness, lie, lies, liar, liars, deception, deceptions, white lie, fib, fibs, white lies
"You seem reasonably fit - have you ever pulled a rickshaw?"
"For your convenience, there's a parking garage just next door."
"You'll need at least seven to ten years of revelant experience to be considered for this kindergarten position."
"Welcome abroad, Andrews. Now just see personnel on twelve, and antlers on fifteen."
"Two English-speaking people to do cooking and all housework on South Carolina plantation October through May. References required. Must like dogs."
Tags:job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, job application, job applications, candidate, candidates, job seeker, job seekers, job seeking, job hunter, job hunters, job hunting, job hunt, job hunts, servant, servants, housework, household, households, domestic, domestics, worker, workers, domestic worker, domestic workers
"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."
Tags:resume, resumes, cv, hr, human resources, personnel, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, job offer, job offers, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, work history, work histories, work experience, work experiences, interviewer, interviewers, job skill, job skills
"Congratulations. You have the skills we're looking for, and you'll just fit a cubicle."
"Your resume looks good, but I am a little concerned that it seems to have been recently folded into a paper airplane."
"Welcome aboard, Parker. Your tusks precede you."
"Other than 'banging supermodels' and 'having a wee' on my grave, where do you see yourself in 5 years."
Tags:interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, job candidate, job candidates, bad candidate, bad candidates, misogynist, misogynists, misogyny, where do you see yourself in 5 years, 5 year plan, 5 year plans, rude, rudeness, crude, crudeness
"We're a prestigious department, yet we have only three active prima donnas."
'We were going to hire you, but a background check showed you pulled a girl's ponytail in the 2nd grade. We don't need abusive people working here.'
"You'll fit right in. You have a great sense of rumor."
Tags:rumour, rumours, rumor, rumors, office gossip, gossip, gossips, corporate politics, office politics, hr, human resources, personnel, job interview, job interviews, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, team player, team players, team member, team members, working environment, working environments
"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"
Tags:thinking on your feet, quick witted, leadership skill, leadership skills, leader, leaders, resume, resumes, cv, skills, skill set, skill-set, skill-sets, skill sets, businesswomen, businesswoman, job interview, job interviews, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, problem solver, problem solvers, problem solving
'Basically, we're looking for cost-effective, efficient tried and true ideas that look like bold innovation thinking while not scaring the poop out of everyone.'
"What made this guy stand out?" "He applied."
"I see you work well with the subconscious fears of others."
"I see by your resume that you're a friend of mine."
Tags:resume, resumes, businessmen, businessman, favouritism, favoritism, nepotism, nepotist, nepotists, corporate culture, job interview, job interviews, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, hr, human resources, cv, skill set, skill-set, qualification, qualifications, unfair advantage, old boys' network, old boys network
'It's a privilege to work for us, so we charge a fee to work here. The good news is there's plenty of overtime.'
"And what made you apply for this job besides our free dental care?"
"The good news is that I remember you from high school. Unfortunately, that's also the bad news."