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'So, you've no experience, no skills and a poor grasp of reality... Have you considered consulting?'
Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.
'...it may be advisable to think of a referee other than your mother.'
'I'm looking for a temp job to fill the gap between my indictment and incarceration.'
'We're TRYING to find you a job, but you fall into that difficult 18 to 65 age group!'
Career Advisor: 'I wish you'd come to me sooner!'
"I remember we used to talk in the staff room about Unions, and what the point of membership was..."
'Oh I'm a team player alright: I am an expert at blending in...'
'I'm prepared to do something different as long as it offers me the same 364 days off a year.'
Tags:summer, break, breaks, holiday, holidays, vacation, vacations, new job, new jobs, career, careers, career path, career paths, santa claus, santa, father christmas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nick, st nick, st. nicholas, st nicholas, job centre, job centres, job center, job centers, annual leave, annual leaves
Job Centre: 'Closed Due to Staff Shortage.'
'I'm nobody's fool!'
'If life begins at forty, why do they let us leave school twenty four years early?'
"You have no experience, skills or talent. I'm afraif we can only place you on a reality TV show, which will lead to wealth and fame."
Tags:reality tv, reality television, reality show, reality program, reality shows, reality programs, unemployment office, unemployment offices, job centre, job centres, job center, job centers, show business, show biz, fame, fortune, actor, actors, actress, actresses, career, careers, career path, career paths
'I'm afraid all I can offer you is 20 minutes on the Jeremy Kyle show.'
Caveman at job centre.
"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"
"What sort of job are you after?" "I don't want a job. I want to be a consultant!"
Unemployment office: Dec. 26th.
"Seems like we're always the first to get the blame when crime rises."
"I never thought when I went to that job fair..."
"I've got to be honest. It's going to be hard to find you a position that offers 40 days of personal time."
Tags:temptation of christ, jesus, jesus christ, 40 days, 40 nights, forty days, forty nights, personal time, annual leave, leave, paid leave, employment office, job centre, job centres, job center, job centers, job seeker, job seekers, job requirement, job requirements, holiday time, job hunter, job hunters, job hunting
"To show we're not all bad, the company is giving all laid off employees a GPS device to help them find the unemployment office."
Tags:lay off, lay-off, lay-offs, lay offs, laid off, laid-off, redundancy, redundancies, redundancy package, redundancy packages, unemployment office, job center, job centre, job centres, job centers, unemployment benefits, unemployment welfare, gps, sat nav, satellite navigation, employee, employees, employer, employers, directions
'Got any rugby jobs?'
'Congratulations-after 25 years we've found you a job in a gold watch factory!'