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'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'
'Just measuring your job performance...'
Your performance evaulations and sales figures are exceptional, but the company's a little bit concerned by your cholesterol numbers.
"Sorry, Jennings, but your job performance has been lacking lately. Spike, attack!"
"He just called our work substandard."
Tags:spying, periscopes, performance review, performance reviews, appraisal, appraisals, periscope, substandard, job performance, job performances, manager, managers, managements, management, workers, performance review, surveillance, rumors, office rumors, eavesdropping, eavesdropper, eavesdroppers, rumor mill, office politics, grievance, office morale, kept in the dark, underlings
Employee of the month.
"It's way too cerebral. What were you thinking?"
"I don't like labeling people either. I get my rate-faced, bootlicking, brownnosing, liver-lipped, waste-of-space flunky to do it."
Tags:manager, managers, management, reject, insult, criticize, belittle, name-calling, label, labeling, bullying, ridicule, ridiculing, assistant, subordinate, subordinates, lackey, lackeys, yes men, yes man, job performance, performance review, dressing down, passing the buck, appraisal, appraisals, flunky, flunkys, flunkies
"This is super. I asked for super-duper."
Tags:performance review, performance reviews, appraisal, appraisals, superhero, superheroes, super hero, super heroes, super power, super powers, hard to please, impossible to please, job performance, review, not good enough, business report, office job, office jobs, super hero, boss, picky boss, management, work
'I'm concerned about your job performance, Farkle! You've only been carrying 30 times your weight around here!'
"Bummer, I guess your brilliance stopped compensating for your complete lack of social skills."
Tags:intelligence, intelligent, brilliance, brilliant, brilliant mind, brilliant minds, social skills, no social skills, lack of social skills, socially inept, socially incompetent, poor social skills, reached your limit, reaching your limit, compensating, compensation, job performance, career progression
'Henry, you're on top of this week's team pyramid.'
'Simms might be overextending himself.'
'This is my first day on the job. Is anything okay?'
'That had to be the worst job performance review I've ever had.'
'Why are our bonuses smaller when we didn't lose as much money?'
'Leaving twice a day to get milked is impacting your job performance.'
Principal to teacher with trap door below her desk: 'The board thinks people teach better under pressure.'
'Is my job performance review over yet?'
Here we don't really want you to become a mover and shaker.
'One last test- we need to see how well you jump through a hoop?'
'Mr. Fogarty believes that people work better under the constant threat of a noogie.'
One possible sign that your job performance could stand some improvement...
Tags:promotion, promotions, promoted, promote, promoting, corporate ladder, business ladder, businessmen, businessman, corporate culture, office plant, office plants, job performance, job performances, appraisal, appraisals, performance review, performance reviews, job review, job reviews, performance evaluation, performance evaluations
"This computer uses artificial intelligence to think like a human being...so it needs coffee in the morning to get it going!"
"Overall, your performance review is good, although I wonder if you are taking your job seriously enough."
Tags:knit, knitting, knitter, knitters, craft, job performances, performance review, performance reviews, annual reviews, multitask, multitasks, multitasking, multitasker, multitaskers, crafts, women's crafts, job performance, performance review, annual review, employee review, work ethics, distraction, distractions