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'75% of our resources are taken up dealing with the aged and infirm...and that's just the staff!'
"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"
"Fortunately for me, I can't get enough of this song."
Tags:ice cream, ice creams, ice-cream, ice-creams, ice cream van, ice cream vans, ice-cream van, ice-cream vans, song, catchy song, catchy songs, song, songs, ice lolly, ice lollies, dream job, dream jobs, dessert, desserts, pudding, puddings, job perk, job perks, job benefits, stuck in my head, tune, tunes, catchy tune, catchy tunes
"For your convenience, there's a parking garage just next door."
"Relax, we're cutting people, not perks."
Tags:cutback, cutbacks, cut back, cut backs, fired, firing, getting fired, canned, can, canning, getting canned, getting the sack, sacking, sacked, laid off, laid-off, lay off, lay-off, lay offs, lay-offs, redundancy, made redundant, redundancies, downsizing, unemployed, unemployment, perk, perks, job perk, job perks, privilege, privileged, insensitive, insensitivity, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, business manager, business managers, boss, bosses
"I'm as surprised as you are. I had no idea that the sweetheart deal would include an actual sweetheart."
'If you want to learn more about our retirement plan, pick up some brochures at your local Social Security office.'
'You got your corner office, so now whats your problem?'
'It's the new company health plan. We get an apple a day and plant the seeds for our retirement health benefits.'
"I know we said we'd get you a laptop,but this will have to do until business improves."
It was a dead-end job. She was only staying for the palliative care.
'We provide temporary housing for new hires.'
"The pay may not be great, but you can't beat this exposure!"
"And what made you apply for this job besides our free dental care?"
This man is obviously delusional - he thinks he should have a decent job and a good car like the rest of us.
'Does it look like we have a dental plan?'
'Yes, we have flex time...except when it's not convenient.'
'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'
"Sure, I hate this job – but I love the built-in cup holder."
'Yes, we do have a group health plan. When everyone has the same symptoms, you all go as a group to see the doctor!'
Sweat Shop: 'You'd think they'd at least let us buy the seconds at a discount.'
"…and don't let your cash buyout, stock options and lifetime medical benefits hit you in the button the way out."
Tags:job perk, job perks, cash buyout, cash buyouts, stock option, stock options, medical benefit, medical benefits, medical cover, health insurance, medical insurance, job interview, job benefit, job benefits, job interviews, job candidate, job candidates, fire, fires, fired, sack, sacks, sacked, sacking, unemployed, unemployment
'This job does offer medical benefits, doesn't it?'
'We all have to cut back - I'm giving up the pleasure of giving you a bonus.'
'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'