Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
'We're looking for managers that demonstrate high levels of emotional intelligence. Here, please try on this mood ring.'
"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."
Tags:resume, resumes, cv, hr, human resources, personnel, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, job offer, job offers, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, work history, work histories, work experience, work experiences, interviewer, interviewers, job skill, job skills
'Among my many talents, not shown on my resume, is that I can say 'multivarient transformative interactive analytical heterogenacity in management leadership' three times fast.'
"Congratulations. You have the skills we're looking for, and you'll just fit a cubicle."
Notorious for his eyes in the back of his head Bruno was an effective supervisor.
"Any other strengths?"
"The aliens that control my brain really want me to get this job."
"I've been sent home with unemployable-like symptoms."
Tags:symptom, symptoms, unemployed, unemployable, sick day, sick days, ill day, ill days, sick leave, sick leaves, cv, resume, resumes, hr, human resources, personnel, job skill, job skills, skill set, skill sets, employment skill, employment skills, symptom, symptoms, worker, workers, laid off, lay-off, lay off, layoff, layoffs, laid-off, redundancy, redundancies, job seeker, job seekers, job hunter, job hunters, job hunting, jobless, joblessness
'Oh I can be reliable and for an extra three hundred a week, I can be efficient too.'
"I'm sorry, but I can't hire you. I typed your name in on a search engine, and lazy, selfish, and unmotivated were the categories that came up."
Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'
"We need someone with experience operating a wrecking ball. Huffing and puffing and blowing buildings down is pretty much an outdated skill these days."
Tags:wolf, wolves, demolition company, demolition companies, job skill, job skills, cv, cvs, resume, resumes, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairytale, fairytales, fairy story, fairy stories, villain, villains, big bad wolf, demolition crew, demolition crews, three little pigs, job interview, job interviews, hr, human resources
'Your resume is quite impressive. However, I'm a little concerned about you biting your last four bosses.'
'It just never dawned on me that one of his super powers was supervising."
Tags:superheroes, superhero, super hero, super heroes, hero, superpower, superpowers, super power, super powers, heroes, comic books, comics, supervisors, hr, work, boss, bosses, supervision, coworkers, office work, corporate, company, management, managers, office manager, desk work, cubicles, job skill, job skills
". . .And are you a good listener?"
"I'm sorry, but you're over-qualified."
"He's a psychopath...I like that in a man!"
"So when it comes to selecting staff these are the qualities I'm looking for!"
"Top marks in most of his exams and he still needs help putting on his underwear properly!"
Tags:qualification, qualifications, o levels, a levels, test, tests, resume, resumes, cv, cvs, skill set, skill sets, work skill, job skill, job skills, higher education, gcse, gcses, exam, exams, examination, examinations, child, children, teenager, student, students, degree, degrees, diploma, diplomas
"As an MP I'm not sure what kind of work the Government thinks that unskilled, untrained and unqualified, unemployed people can do in their 'Return to Work' scheme!"
"He's working out well for the copycat position."
'Your performance review is in...and it's not good.'
Tags:lifeguard, lifeguards, performance review, performance reviews, appraisal, appraisals, performance, performances, grim, grims, reaper, reapers, grim reaper, grim reapers, angel of death, beach, beaches, vacation, vacations, job skill, job skills, sea rescue, coast guard, lifeguard station, drowning, sea rescues, drown, drowns
'Say, that's a mighty impressive resume. Mind if I borrow it for a few minutes?'
"I did have a question regarding your career history. Under 'Strengths,' you listed 'Never convicted.' Would you mind elaborating on that?"
Tags:hr, human resources, personnel, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, cv, cvs, resume, resumes, conviction, convictions, criminal conviction, criminal convictions, criminal record, criminal records, career, careers, job interview, job interviews, career, careers, job skill, job skills
"I'm just not sure you're capable for a position here."