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"That's the statue of Do What Your Mother Tells You."
"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"
Tags:department store, department stores, fragrance, fragrances, perfume, perfumes, cologne, colognes, smell, smells, aroma, aromas, scent, scents, food, jewish, jewish cuisine, jewish delicacies, cheese blintz, cheese blintzes, frying, fried, attraction, attractive, customer request, customer requests, customer, customers, attracting men, dating, shpasik, jtoons
The Mishegoss Stops Here
Tags:yiddish, jew, jews, jewish, judaism, religion, religions, religious, mishegoss, mischief, the buck stops here, nonsense, tomfoolery, foolery, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, serious, strict, manager, managers, management, boss, bosses, shpasik, jtoons
Tags:guilt, guilts, guilting, mom, moms, mother, mothers, mum, mums, nag, nags, nagging, passive aggressive, passive aggression, passive aggressiveness, parent, parents, parenting, frustration, frustrations, frustrating, put on a sweater, nice young man, approval, approve, approves, approving, torah, genesis, bible, bible story, bible stories, shpasik, jtoons
"No, we're not Jewish, but we think it would be fun for our reception's theme to be 'A Jewish Wedding.'"
Tags:jewish, judaism, religion, religions, religious, culture, cultural appropriation, misappropriation, power imbalance, cultural adoption, marriage, engaged, engagement, wedding planning, wedding planner, wedding planners, bride, brides, groom, grooms, special events, special event, wedding, weddings, fiance, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, white people, relationship, relationships, ignorance, ignorant, shpasik, jtoons
"Open the pod bay doors, HAL - we can't wait for the shabbos goy"
"I still want grandchildren.
Yenta Theatre Presents: Waiting for Godot
Tags:waiting for godot, samuel beckett, beckett, production, productions, gossip, gossips, gossiping, wait, waits, waiting, judgement, judgements, judgmental, judgemental, sewing circle, sewing circles, talk, talks, talking, chat, chats, chatting, back and forth, play, plays, playwright, playwrights, old biddy, old biddies, shpasik, jtoons
"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."
"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"
Tags:mezuzah, mezuzahs, religion, religious, judaism, jewish, jew, jews, torah, history, historical, ancient, pre-history, pre-historical, prehistory, prehistorical, stone age, bc, b.c., before christ, paleolithic, palaeolithic, cave-dweller, cave dwellers, cavemen, caveman, neanderthal, neanderthals, early humans, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists, archeology, archeologist, archeologists, artifact, artifacts, artefact, artefacts, shpasik, jtoons
"Yeah, I could walk all the way to Egypt. Or you could just free them yourself using magic."
Tags:religion, religious, moses, old testament, exodus, bible, god, egypt, burning bush, burn, burning, bush, bushes, fire, on fire, flaming, flame, flames, shepherd, shepherds, sheep, magic, magic power, magic powers, magical power, magical powers, free, do it yourself, diy, easier, easy way out, problem solver, problem solvers, shpasik, jtoons
"First of all, this conversation never happened."
Tags:jew, jews, jewish, orthodox, yarmulke, yarmulkes, christmas, holiday, holidays, holiday season, deniability, plausible deniability, vow of silence, santa, santa claus, father christmas, hanukkah, chanukah, christian, christians, goyim, goy, gentile, gentiles, swearing to silence, jealous, envy, envious, shpasik, jtoons
"I am a golem, but on weekends I do Domino's."
"Have your people call my people."
Tags:seder, seders, passover, passovers, passover seder, judaism, jewish, jews, jew, torah, torahs, candy, candies, chocolate, chocolates, parody, parodying, alternative, holiday, holidays, celebration, celebrates, celebrate, hebrew, feast, feasts, represent, represents, representing, symbol, symbols, symbolism, food, foods, religion, religions, home, family, families, shpasik, jtoons
King Solomon's Wedding"You may kiss the brides. You may also kiss the concubines, but don't make a big tzimmes about it."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, ancient, biblical, hebrew, old testament, kings, book of kings, judaism, christianity, king solomon, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, polygamy, polygamous, concubine, concubines, wedding, weddings, wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies, wedding vows, vows, exchanging vows, saying i do, bride, brides, groom, grooms, kiss, kissing, rabbi, rabbis, minister, ministers, fuss, tzimmes, yiddish, shpasik, jtoons
"I forgot my wig."
"...brisket ...recipe. Hide it."
"That was Elijah. He's stuck on the Garden State."
"Where do you see yourself in forty years?"
"Must I sacrifice family for career?"
Tags:religious, religions, religious imagery, religious figures, abraham, father abraham, the story of abraham, sacrifice, sacrificing, sacrificial, altar, altars, career, careers, careerist, careerism, following orders, bible, the bible, bible story, bible stories, biblical, old testament, parent, parents, parental, parenting, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, genesis, isaac, child, kid, kids, family, work life balance, work/life balance, the binding of isaac, binding of isaac, family, culture, culture clash, shpasik, jtoons
"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."
Tags:menorah, menorahs, hanukkah, chanukah, judiasm, religion, religions, religious tradition, religious traditions, festival of lights, holiday, holidays, venture capital, capital, startup, startups, start-up, start-ups, venture capitalists, miracle, miracles, miraculous, finance, finances, financial, investment, investing, small business, small businesses, financial incubator, financial incubators, silicon valley, internet startup, internet startups, new business, business, businesses, business owner, business owners, cfo, c.f.o, shpasik, jtoons
"This will nver work, David. Your family is significantly less non-obvervant than mine."
"I'm Jewish and Don is Catholic, but we're raising the kids as wolves."
Tags:jew, jews, jewish, catholic, catholics, catholicism, mixed family, mixed families, kid, kids, children, religious family, religious families, ideology, ideologies, differing ideology, differing ideologies, raised by wolves, wolf, wolves, misbehave, misbehaves, misbehaving, interfaith, interfaith family, interfaith families, blended family, blended families, shpasik, jtoons