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'I intend to prove that on June 13th, when the gate was left wide open, the defendant utterly failed to run loose r dig up the neighbor's rose garden, and furthermore, he actually slept through the incident like a common housecat!'
The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.
"Call it intuition or whatever, but I can't help thinking you may not be telling the truth."
Judge to sleeping jury: 'We will now hear closing arguments in the case of Sleepytime Mattresses vs. Beddy-bye Bedding.'
'Now you're out of order!!'
As he enters courtroom, judge punches time clock.
"In your own words, describe to the court. . . what you witnessed - and when and where you witnessed it, Mister Jehovah."