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"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."
Tags:heaven, gates of heaven, pearly gates, pearl gates, the pearly gates, st peter, st. peter, saint peter, sins, judgement, judgements, judgement days, dying, afterlife, the afterlife, after life, the after life, blasphemy, blasphemer, blasphemers, blaspheme, blaspheming, let off, let-off, lucky escape, lucky escapes
"That's where the celebrities are."
Tags:celebrity, celebrities, levels of hell, levels of heaven, hierarchy, hierarchies, inequality, cant take it with you, can't take it with you, privilege, privileges, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died
"My client wants half, plus another fifteen per cent to cover my fees."
Tags:solomon, king solomon, judgement of solomon, bible story, bible stories, biblical story, biblical stories, judge, judgement, judgements, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, lawyers feeds, attorneys fees, solicitors fees, custody case, custody hearing, custody hearings, baby, babies, mother, mothers, half, heartless lawyer, heartless lawyers
"I'm happy to say that my final judgement of a case is almost always consistent with my prejudgement of the case."
"Wings that don't work! Harps that don't play! Are you sure this isn't Hell?"
The Full Disclosure Amusement Park: 'Tunnel of Impulse and Questionable Judgment.'
"Helen! Well, I'll be damned."
Tags:pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, ex, exes, the ex, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups, separation, separations, divorce, divorces, revenge, getting revenge, saint peter, judgement, impartial, impartiality, bias, biased, judgement day, dying, died
Heaven's IN/OUT filing.
Tags:heaven, heavens, file, filing, files, fate, fates, judgement, judgement day, in, out, tray, trays, filed, last judgement, final day of judgement, in tray, out tray, in-tray, out-tray, hell, hells, purgatory, damned, saved, doomsday, god, gods, christian, christians, the day of the lord, office, offices
"I don't know when I've seen a more magniﬁcent slide. You're out!"
Tags:slide, sliding, home, home plate, home run, home runs, tag out, tags out, tagging out, baseball, baseball player, baseball players, umpire, umpires, base runner, base runners, base running, decision, decisions, close decision, close decisions, tight decision, tight decisions, good form, judge, judges, judgment, judgement, judgements, judgments
"And this time--no ark!"
"I forgot to call in dead."
Tags:offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, sick day, sick days, sickie, call in sick, calling in sick, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, modern expectation, modern expectation, afterlife, the afterlife, workaholic, workaholics, workaholism, pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died
"I had ethical momentum, but I was unable to sustain it."
Tags:momentum, ethics, ethical, sustain, sustains, sustaining, witness, witnesses, witness stand, witness stands, testify, testifies, testifying, court trial, court trails, sustain, sustains, judge, judges, judgement, judgment, sustained, cross-examine, cross-examines, cross-examining, cross-examination
"Your mother eats all the wrong foods."
Tags:food, foods, food fads, faddy foods, fad, fads, faddy, faddy eaters, faddy eater, faddy eating, food intolerances, clean eating, judgement, judgy, judgemental, faddy diets, faddy diet, diet fad, diet fads, bloating, bloated, bloat, mum, mom, mother, mums, moms, mothers, floating, human balloon, human balloons, balloons, balloon
"Are you carrying currency or monetary instruments of $ 10,000 U.S. or foreign equivelant?"
Tags:pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died, security check, security checks, airport security, security guard, security guards, currency, cash, monetary instrument, monetary instruments, discrimnate, discrimnation, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap
"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."
Tags:death, dead, died, heavens gates, gates of heaven, pearly gates, st peter, st. peter, saint peter, judgement, final judgement, lifes ledger, good deeds, bad deeds, sins, tip, tips, tipping, bad tipper, bad tippers, bad tip, bad tips, stingy tipper, twelve percent, 12%, restaurant, restaurants, host, hosts, maitre d
Bribing St. Peter
Tags:pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died, bribe, bribes, bribery, cant take it with you, can't take it with you, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, hopeless, punishments, corrupt, corruption, white collar crime
"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."
Tags:nubis, underworld, god, gods, egyptian god, egyptian gods, egyptian, egyptians, ancient egypt, jackal, jackals, judgement, judgements, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, legal representation, legal representative, legal team, legal teams, advice, advisor, advisors, soul, souls, feather, feathers, weight, weigh, weighing
"And lastly, for all eternity, French, blue cheese, or ranch?"
"Nobody cares whether I drink Coke or Pepsi."
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, shrink, shrinks, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, patient, patients, mental health, cola, soda, pop, soft drink, soft drinks, brand, brands, brand name, brand names, product, products, consumerism, insecure, insecurity, judging, judgement, judgements, modern life
Yenta Theatre Presents: Waiting for Godot
Tags:waiting for godot, samuel beckett, beckett, production, productions, gossip, gossips, gossiping, wait, waits, waiting, judgement, judgements, judgmental, judgemental, sewing circle, sewing circles, talk, talks, talking, chat, chats, chatting, back and forth, play, plays, playwright, playwrights, old biddy, old biddies, shpasik, jtoons
"You have excellent academic credentials and a wonderful work history but we try not to profile people."
Tags:interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, cv, curriculum vitae, job application, job applications, profile, profiles, profiling, judge, judging, judgement, prejudge, prejudging, credentials, good credentials, work history, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, recruitment officer, recruitment officers
"Not guilty, visitors make everybody nervous."
"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, witness, witnesses, on the stand, on the witness stand, witness stand, oath, oaths, under oath, sworn in, swear in, perjury, perjurer, perjurers, perjuring, god, hand of god, religion, religious, judgement, judgements, questioning, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars
"Under the Freedom of Information Act, I'm requesting that you disclose what you have on me in your files."
Tags:foia, foia request, foia requests, request, requests, pray, prays, praying, prayer, prayers, freedom of information, freedom of information act, freedom of information acts, disclose, discloses, disclosing, disclosure, personal information, personal info, info, information, god, almighty, judge, judges, judgment, judgments, judgement, judgements, insecure, insecurity, insecurities, ethics, government, governments, law, laws, lawyer, lawyers
"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."
Tags:jail, jails, prison, prisons, incarceration, behind bars, imprisoned, prisoner, prisoners, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, criminal, criminals, punishments, jail cell, jail cells, prison cell, prison cells, cell, cells, cellmate, cellmates, celly, cellie, cellies, legal system, justice system, judicial system, harshest critic, harshest critics, self-criticism, critic, critics, critical, criticism, criticising, criticizing, failure, failures, ego, insecure, insecurity, insecurities, self-esteem, self-confidence, ego, moral relativism, moral judgement, moral judgements, judgement, judgements, psychology, mental health