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"Oh, come on, you know we should have switched to touch-tone years ago."
"Surely, somewhere, there's a horse capable of developing a hoof sensitive keypad..."
"Does it have a keypad?"
'...thanks for calling. You will now getting kicked out of the line.'
'I slaved at a computer for years, then one day I hit 'escape,' and - POOF - I found myself here!'
'Memory Loss Clinic.'
'It's not fair. The keypads get smaller and my fingers get fatter.'
'You've been texting during work hours again!. . . Your keypad is still warm!'
'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'
'You know, I've been thinking. If only I could get Multitouch...'