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'When we were young we used to dress like our parents - these days parents dress like their children!'
'Are you keeping pace with spending predictions?'
'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'
Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'
'Is there a 'back to school' app?'
'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'
'Now that you're 10, we can tell you the truth: beauty isn't actually in the eye of the beholder, there are international standards... and you haven't met them.'
'You know, back when I was a kid, all we needed to have fun was an old tin can... that and a really low standard for what was fun.'
'Hey kid, what are you in for?'
'My god, he's insane.'
'This should increase our business.'
'I love the peace & quiet you get at camp.'
'Thanks, but my homework is a little beyond your skill set, Mom.'
'Weird... look Dad! Someone printed out a bunch of tweets, and then they added exrta characters to all the words...' 'Or as I call it, a book!'
' . . . We're releasing you into the wild so that you fly free, my young eaglet. Don't forget to tweet.'
Ethics exam cheater.
'You know what they say. . . 'If your dog is fat - you aren't getting enough exercise.''
'You know when I was a kid, I really thought we'd have flying robot maids by now.'
Sticky suit leaf collection system
'Dad, can you just drop me off here?'
'Red rover, red rover, send Billy right over!'
'Mommy! Mommy! Look at me!'
'Who would've thought Ms. Kent was following our tweets?'
Because she'd always had a crush on the handsome but stupid professor, sometimes at night she'd fix some of his more obvious computational errors.