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"Nobody's picking on you. The injections are to help you get well. I'm sure the nurses don't enjoy it any more than you."
"Hope you don't mind an audience. This is, after all, a teaching hospital."
"See, son? Daddy's company makes inhalers to help people with asthma."
'What's that medicine you're prescribing, Doctor?' 'I call it, 'Killorcure.' It's experimental.'
'I think it's 'feed a cold'...not 'drown a cold'!'