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'Is this for wiping greasy hands? No, it's your itemized bill.'
Man selling 'Big Issue' next to man selling the 'big tissue'.
'I don't have any tissues.' - 'Toilet paper?' - 'Well, yes, upstairs in the bathroom.' - 'Oh, right. Kitchen roll?' - 'No, we've run out.' - 'I tell you what... just give me that utility bill.'