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'Why do I always attract the ugly ones'
"Well, well. Look who's back from trying to make it in the big city."
'Doug clearly wasn't interested in pursuing small talk'
'So, come here often?'
'So, you finally asked out that girl in accounting. Did you get a date?'
'Man, we're never gonna get any ladies with that guy around.'
'Of course it's been proven that warthogs are the sexiest creatures in the animal kingdom... I mean, I don't have the study with me, but, you know, look at me.'
'Sorry, Lancelot, but I'm just not a knight person.'
Feeling guilty about breaking up with Susan after just two dates, Brad made things easier by wearing his Hideous Back Hair Toupee to the beach.'
Discovering that he as out of cologne before his big date, Rodney quickly grabbed a can of wildflower scented Raid.
'His idea of a hot date is going to see the nutcracker!'
"I want a man of mysery; you wear your passion on your sleeve, your views on your bumper, and your brand preference on your back."
'Did you ever notice how kids always like to play with the box the toys came in?' ... 'I'd like to play with the box your kids came in...'
'I told him to eat my dust.'
'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'
'You haven't asked me out in weeks. Would I like to go out to a movie? No thanks I'm busy!'
For Bob, every date was a limited edition
'Your place or mine?'
'Would you like to go on a date?' - 'Who with?' - 'Me?' - 'What, ironically, you mean?' - 'I was looking for a sympathy date, really.' - 'Let's not get too ambitious, eh?' -
'Sorry, I don't date men with necks bigger than my waistline.'
'My life coach tells me I find you very attractive.'
'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'
'Haven't I seen you some place before?... Yes that's why I don't go there any more!'
'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'
'Do I want to go back to your place?... I don't know. Will two people people fit under a stone?'