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'I'm not gonna lie to you. . . They all seem geometrically identical to me.'
"We're heading south for the winter—any chance we can get the place again next spring?"
Tags:bird, birds, migration, migrations, bird migration, bird migrations, rent, renting, rented accommodation, renting accommodation, rental accommodation, rented property, renting property, rental property, time-share, time share, time-sharing, time sharing, landlord, landlords, land lord, land lords, autumn, bird box, bird boxes, birdbox, birdboxes, bird house, bird houses, birdhouse, birdhouses, real estate, letting, seasonal letting, seasonal rentals
"I'll rent one out as a Dirtbnb."
Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'
"It's just the usual Wednesday crowd."
Tags:wednesday, wednesdays, regular, regulars, customer, customers, client, clients, usual crowd, usual crowds, camel, camels, hunchback, hunchbacks, barmen, barman, landlord, landlords, bartender, bartenders, bar-tender, bar-tenders, bartending, drink, drinks, drinking companion, drinking companions
"Stop me if you heard this one."
"Oh, sure, I remember him. He was quiet, mostly kept to himself, paid the rent on time. You know, we were only married for sixteen years."
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships, bad relationship, bad relationships, detective, detectives, investigator, investigators, investigation, investigations, police detective, police detectives, criminal investigation, criminal investigation, landlord, landlords, landlady, landladies
"I don't want stock options. I want you to pay your tab."
"Joe, the beautiful people are back from their summer places. Would you mind not coming in anymore?"
"Of course, the current tenant will be gone before the first of the month."
"It's the loony bin. They want to know if you're coming back."
Tags:loony bin, loony bins, insane asylum, insane asylums, mental asylum, mental asylums, mental patient, mental patients, asylum, asylums, drinker, drinkers, drunk, drunks, drinking problem, drinking problems, alcohol problem, alcohol problems, landlord, landlords, barmen, barman, telephone, telephones, publican, publicans, politically incorrect, political incorrectness
"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."
Valentines for Real Estate
Tags:valentine, valentines, valentine's, card, cards, greeting cards, greeting card, real estate, real estate agency, real estate agencies, real estate agent, real estate agents, property agent, property agencies, property agent, property agents, estate agent, estate agents, realtor, realtors, property, properties, rent, renting, lease, leasing, letting, let, tenant, tenants, flat, flats, apartment, apartment, house, houses, home, homes, housing, house hunting, landlord, landlords, perfect, ideal, dream, dreams, secret admirer, love, love letter, love letters, money, poem, poems, poetry, rhyme, rhymes, rhyming
"Call the organ bank and tell them that we're ready for tonight's pickup!"
"They keep asking for more ice for their drinks."
'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'
"Anyone here named Hippity?"
"Now this apartment will be vacant October 1st - "
Tags:empty apartment, empty apartments, apartment, apartments, property viewing, property viewings, landlord, landlords, rental, rentals, rental property, rental properties, privacy, tenant, tenants, tenancy, intrusion, intrusions, privacy, bath, baths, interruption, interruptions, house viewing, house viewings, estate agent, estate agents, real estate, super, supers, building superintendent, building superintendents
"Do you have a Frequent Drinkers card?"
Tags:barmen, barman, bartender, bartenders, landlord, landlords, drinker, drinkers, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards, drinking problem, drink problem, drink problems, alcohol problem, alcohol problems, loyalty card, loyalty cards, reward system, reward systems, customer loyalty
"You've had enough."
"Of course I had a good day."
'You can lead a horse to water, son, but try not to drive him to drink.'
"What does your mother have to do to get a drink around here?"
Tags:barmen, barman, landlord, landlords, publican, publicans, bartender, bartenders, bar work, bar worker, bar workers, bar stool, bar stools, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, ignore, ignoring, drinks order, drinks orders, drink order, drink orders, customer service, customer satisfaction, customer services
'I'll take it!'