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'Request permission to approach the bench, Your Honour...'
'It's life Jim, but not as you knew it,'
'Don't you just long for a case of good old sexual transgression rather than inappropriate blogs,tweets and chats ?'
'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'
"My client would like 75 other offences taken into consideration for his Guinness Book of Records attempt."
Tags:court, court case, criminal court, court cases, criminal courts, high court, defendant, the accused, criminal, criminals, criminal offence, offense, charge, charges, barrister, barristers, lawyer, lawyers, law, laws, law courts, court of law, prosecution, attorney, attorneys, judge, judges, record breaker, record breakers, record-breaking, record-breaker, record-breakers, world record, world records
'You have been tried and convicted of insider trading. Have you any last tips to offer before I pronounce sentence?'
'Yes, I did accept an apple from my third-grader, Billy Smith, but there was no quid pro quo.'
'Don't stop that thief!'
Tennis Court - "How do you plead?"
"And this is the juvenile court."
'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'
Intimidating the witness
'...and how dare you appear in my court with that silly haircut!'
"I pledge allegiance to the flag...oh sorry, to honour and obey...on no that's not it..I name this ship.."
'They're settling it out of court.'
"...and my client would like to signal his appreciation of his Lordship's patience.."
What barristers/attorneys are really thinking - "Beer."
Jury Wearing "guilty as hell" t-shirts.
"And finally for the record, the clerk of the court has odds of 6-4 guilty, 2-1 not guilty..."
Disorder in the Court!
'Defendant or plaintiff?'
'By sequestered', does that mean we're going to be locked up before the defendant is...?'
'I sentence you to 3 years in a police toilet cubicle.'
'Orders in the court'