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'I prefer to call it the system of checks and balances in action, senator, not gridlock.'
'So maybe it is feel-good legislation- What's wrong with feeling good?'
'I hate lobbyists! They are disgusting bottom feeders! I hate their beady little eyes, sharp claws, hard exoskeletons and... er... No wait. LOBSTERS! That's what I hate - I hate lobsters.'
CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'
Statue with engraving: Statesman, Lawmaker, Ideologue, Big Deficit Spender.
'It's illegal to build a minument to a politician until he's been dead ten years- I wonder why that is.'-'To make sure he's not faking it'
'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'
'He's a very high-tech guy- He handles all his bribes through e-bay.'