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Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,
"Make a note, Henderson: 'May 4, 9:02 a.m. Unauthorized plant life again growing at random on lawn outside main entrance corporate headquarters. Spoiling symmetry and tranquility. Breeding confusion. Have said plants removed and incinerated soonest. Eyes only.' Original to Maintenance copies to Accounting and Security. And this time, Henderson, let's not have any leaks to the damn secretarial pool."
"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."
"Lawn fish. They're hell to get rid of."
'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'
'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'
Tags:mow, mows, mowing, mower, mowers, lawnmower, lawnmowers, lawn, lawns, grass, cut, cuts, cutting, cuttings, cutter, cutters, sale, sales, salesman, salesmen, sell, sells, selling, tree, trees, convenient, convenience, machine, machines, useful, handy, clever, innovative, invention, close to home
A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and
Tags:mower, mowers, mow, mows, mowing, lawn, lawns, lawn care, image, self-image, overconfident, overconfidence, ride-on mower, ride-on lawnmower, lawnmower, lawnmowers, ride-on lawnmowers, trike, trikes, tricycle, tricycles, childish, childishness, overconfident, overconfidence, attraction, attractive, attractiveness, kiddie car, kiddie cars, kiddie, psychology, self-deception, deception, deceive, deceives, ego, egotistical, egotist, egotists
"Lawn care has been good to us, Ed."
Tags:yard, yards, front yard, backyard, yardwork, yard work, landscaping, landscaper, landscapers, grass, lawn, lawns, mulch, rake, raking, rakes, hoe, hoes, tool, tools, pool, pools, swimming pool, swimming pools, outside, nature, magazine, magazines, garden, gardens, gardening, gardener, gardeners
"Oh, Julius, look! It's the first robin!"
Tags:animal, animals, bird, birds, robin, robins, first robin, sign of spring, signs of spring, spring, season, seasons, race, races, marathon, marathons, runner, runners, finish line, finish lines, finishing line, finishing lines, tape, front yard, front yards, backyard, backyards, yard, yards, lawn, lawns, sport, sports, athlete, athletes, celebration, breaking the tape, crossing the finish line, first across the line
'I got you the iPod that I promised you, and for your convenience, I've welded it to the lawn mower.'
'Told you to get your mower fixed.'
'Still haven't given up on your lawn, eh, Pertzborn?'
Tags:garden, gardens, lawn, lawns, indian, indians, red indian, red indians, native american, native americans, rain dance, rain dances, summer, summers, heat wave, heat, heats, rain, rains, raining, rained, nutrition, plant, plants, plant life, water, watering, waters, watered, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"I'm greener, yes. But am I happier?"
Tags:plant, plants, grass, greener, happier, happy, happiness, unhappy, the grass is greener on the other side, weed, weeds, unkempt, messy, garden, gardens, gardener, gardeners, lawn, lawns, landscaping, landscaper, landscapers, jealously, saying, sayings, expression, expressions, word play, wordplay
Lawn mower breaking kit
Lawn service conspiracy.
'Next door's dog is doing its business on our lawn again!'
"Shouldn't you rake those up first and then set them on fire?"
Tags:leaf, leaves, clearing leaves, raking, raking leaves, rake, rakes, chore, chores, housework, yardwork, landscaping, landscaper, lawn, lawns, yard, yards, garden, gardens, gardening, fire, fires, on fire, fire hazard, fire hazards, fire safety, unsafe, safety hazard, safety hazards, bad idea, bad ideas, dangerous, dangerous idea, dangerous ideas, dumb, dumb idea, dumb ideas, husband, husbands, man, men, marriage, nag, annoy, berate, bother
"Get your polka-dot butt out of my leaves!"
"It's one of our local customs—the annual blessing of the lawnmowers."
Tags:blessing, blessed, blessings, annual blessing, blessing of the bikes, the blessing of the bikes, annual, tradition, traditions, traditional, parody, parodies, lawnmower, lawnmowers, lawn mower, lawn mowers, lawn, lawns, parade, parades, priest, priests, custom, customs, motorbikes, bike, bicycle, bicycles
'Gee, Dad... I wish we could afford to send our grass like that to get it cut!'
'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'
'I didn't have any idea who I was going to vote for... then I saw a lawn sign...'
"If he can't get Yard of the Month, he'd rather just burn it."
Tags:yard, yards, award, awards, award season, proud, pride, lawn, lawns, lawn care, lawn maintenance, maintenance, maintaining, accomplishment, accomplishments, perfectionist, perfectionists, perfectionism, torch, torches, burn, burns, burning, jealous, jealousy, real estate, garden, gardens, front yard, front yards, front garden, front gardens, petty, pettiness, personal property, yardwork, chore, chores, mow the lawn, mowing the lawn, award season
A man raking his lawn watches as the leaves climb back into the trees.
Tags:autumn, fall, tree, trees, season, seasons, seasonal, lawn, lawns, lawn care, yardwork, housework, landscaping, landscaper, landscapers, chore, chores, rake, rakes, raking, raking the leaves, leaf, leaves, climbing, escaping, returning, personification, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, nature