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Portrait of a Serial Attorney.
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, legal, law, objection, objections, objecting, legal billing, legal bill, legal bills, hearing voices, subpoena, subpoenas, annoying, crazy, complaint, complaints, complaining
'He kept changing his will. In the end, it all went to legal fees.'
'Be careful, he just charged me $350 for his 'two-cents worth'.'
'I'm looking for legal advice.' 'Don't get involved with lawyers. That will be £75.'
'You won't have to go to jail, but I will be collecting your $200.'
Help the Bill Find its Way to Becoming a Law
Tags:bill, bills, legal bill, legal bills, the white house, congress, government, governments, maze mazes, law, laws, new law, new laws, passing bills, passing a bill, passing a law, passing laws, politician, politicians, legislation, new legislation, proposed legislation, impossible, impossibility, challenge, challenging, jumping through hoops, legal bill review, legal bill reviews, lbr, united stated congress, federal government, house of representatives, the senate, majority vote, majority votes, red tape, legal system, failing legal system, democracy, western democracy, failing democracy
What does it cost to ask a question? What's your second question
Attorney at law - Rates: JusticeObstruction of Justice.
30 pounds to ask one question. £30? Right, I'll send you my bill.
That's the worst part of divorce, splitting up the property.
Don't remind me time is money. I'm the lawyer here!
"I charge by the grain."
Tags:hourly fee, hourly fees, fee, fees, legal fee, legal fees, legal bill, legal bills, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, hourglass, hourglasses, hour glass, hour glasses, hour-glass, hour-glasses, legal charge, legal charges, legal rep, legal reps, legal representative, legal representatives
'It makes the law seem so dull, so dry where's the place for drama, creativity and invention!'
'If people want proper legal advice they've got to expect to cover our overheads...'
'What would you charge me to answer one question?' 'What's your second question?'
"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."
'Well, yes, I suppose you could appeal. However, if you lost, you'd be responsible for all court costs.'
'Well, I'm sorry you misdialed, but I'll still have to bill you for my time and effort in picking up the receiver.'
"As your solicitor, I suggest you take it through the courts. As your friend I suggest you don't waste your money."
"Of course I live for the moment. I charge $900 per hour."
Tags:attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, lawyer, lawyers, legal bill, legal bills, legal representative, legal representatives, legal advice, legal advisor, legal advisors, legal adviser, legal advisers, hourly charge, hourly charges, hourly bill, charging by the hour, living for the moment, philosophy, philosophies, lifestyle choice, lifestyle choices
"Why do you want to know where I hid the money?"
Tags:legal fee, legal fees, legal advice, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, legal adviser, legal advisers, crime, crimes, booty, criminal, criminals, thief, thieves, buried treasure, buried treasures, legal cost, legal costs, legal bill, legal bills, legal representative, legal representatives
"How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?"
"Now tell me your legal problem very slowly, with every detail, no matter how irrelevant. Feel free to digress, babble and, especially, backtrack."
It's just his usual fee for turning up...
The dog isn't qualified so we'll only bill you his hours at half the usual rate...