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Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'
'This contract proposal needs more work. I'm not experiencing any twinges of guilt over it.'
"I'll need you to sign this binding agreement that you acknowledge you said no, you didn't want any dessert, and that you give up all claim to mine."
Tags:dessert, desserts, pudding, puddings, share, shared, sharing, shares, sweet tooth, sweet tooths, sweet-tooth, sweet-tooths, sweettooth, legal contract, legal contracts, legal agreement, legal agreements, binding agreement, binding agreements, date, dates, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, eating out
'Hey, look! The subpeonies are in bloom!'
"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."
Tags:legal waiver, legal waivers, tag, tags, game, games, parent, parents, legal contract, legal contracts, personal space, playground, playgrounds, play, playing, kid, kids, childhood, childhoods, school yard, school yards, teacher, teachers, health and safety, lawsuit, lawsuits, compensation society
"Do people ever really know each other? No. That's why they get married - to formalize the not knowing."
'It's ok, he's signed - release his children.'
"Before we take this any further, Juliet, I'd like you to sign this pre-doomed love affair agreement."
Tags:romeo and juliet, shakespeare, prenuptial agreement, prenuptial agreements, contract, contracts, signature, signatures, sign, signs, signing a contract, signing contracts, legal contract, legal contracts, modern life, modern times, modern relationship, modern relationships, legal culture, lawyer culture, tragedy, tragedies, tragic love, tragic loves
"My wife is quite keen on checking the finer details before we sign anything."
'I may or may not sign. Show me the fine print.'
"Page two, paragraph six: The moral high ground-we're prepared to yield totally on that point."
"And to comply with government and industry regulations, just initial where it says 'I'm probably a big idiot to be signing this!'"
'An oral contract is not worth the paper it's written on.'
"There are parts of this contract that ANYONE could understand. You'll have to rewrite it!"
The Ultimate Contract
"Oh my gosh, you're RIGHT! The boundary between our franchise territories is 54th Street! I'm so sorry, guy! My fault entirely!"
'That's where we at the fine print.'
'Right, now this is what we call a 'football' and the 'players' will be kicking it!'
'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'
'With the threat of ABS's competing for Council work is going to get even harder...'
'It may be Christmas and people are letting their hair down...'
'This HS2 brief is the kind of work I live for!'
"By opening this cookie you are agreeing to whatever terms..."
"Before I consent to being your Valentine you'll have to agree to these terms and conditions."
Law School Contracts 101: Writing with words nobody can understand.