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"We saw some inspired lunacy, then had some uninspired Italian."
"I thought the vaguely homoerotic undertones would be better."
"Hold everything, Louis!"
"Honey, I got a brand-new bow for our car!"
"At least you always know exactly where you are with Fred, he ALWAYS lets you down!"
"Do I smell eggs, pork chops, toasted bread and cafe con leche?"
I was always quite a disappointment to my parents. They wanted me to become a doctor.
"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."
"Sometimes opening presents is the best part of Christmas."