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'Should I make a note of the fact that the witness has grown a Pinocchio nose, your honor?'
'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'
'Your HMO isn't convinced that you need surgery. When I say 'action!' start writhing and moaning wildly.'
"I know I'm perjuring myself, but I'm trying to make a point!"
Tags:perjury, committing perjury, liar, liars, lying, courtroom, courtrooms, court of law, legal system, the legal system, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, priorities, argument, arguments, making a point, winning arguments, mistake, mistakes, big mistakes, fake news, making it up
"I'm proud of that resumé but I'm sensing 'stickler for the truth'."
Tags:resume, resumes, cv, hr, human resources, personnel, job interview, job interviews, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, dishonest, dishonesty, stickler, sticklers, truth, truthness, honest, honesty, honestness, lie, lies, liar, liars, deception, deceptions, white lie, fib, fibs, white lies
"I'm talking so much about books I haven't read I feel like I'm back in publishing."
"Poor dear, she's just discovered all these years she's been the muse for a plagiarist."
Tags:greek, greece, ancient, myth, myths, legend, legends, muses, muse, literature, science, arts, inspiration, inspirations, plagiarism, plagiarist, plagiarists, weeping, crying, sad, discovered, discovery, discoveries, cheater, cheaters, copying, fake, forgery, forgeries, forger, forgers, liar, liars, lie, lies, writer, writers, writing, books, books, author, authors, musician, musicians, lyrics, poem, poetry, art, artist, artists
5 day forecast.
Tags:forecast, forecasts, 5 day forecast, five day forecast, weatherman, weather man, news, the news, outlook, weather outlook, not a clue, wild guess, iffy, pretty sure, guess, guessing, guesswork, guess work, guessed, guesses, estimate, lies, lie, liar, liars, lying, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Let's change 'brink of chaos' to 'Everything is wonderful.'"
"May we have a recess your honor? My client's pants are on fire."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, laws, legal, judge, judges, jury, juries, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, defence, defense, defendant, defendants, client, clients, witness stand, questioning, perjury, lying, liar, liars, lie, lies, liar liar pants on fire, fire, fires, pants, on fire, flames, burning, suspicious, questionable, dishonest, dishonesty
Tags:party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, guest, guests, sign, signs, warning, warnings, advisory, advisories, label, labels, personality, personalities, problem, problems, issue, issues, dishonesty, dishonest, liar, liars, chatty, satanist, satanists, clingy, party favor, party favors, party favour, party favours, character flaw, character flaws, psychology
"Grandma had a favorite doll when she was your age. But, with no explanation, that doll was taken away and sent to live with some cousins in Wichita."
Tags:doll, dolls, favorite, favorites, favorite doll, favorite dolls, trauma, traumas, childhood trauma, childhood traumas, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars, cruel, cruelty, fib, fibs, fibbing, traumatic, experience, ptsd, post traumatic stress, post traumatic stress disorder, dolly, toy, toys, favorite toy, favorite toys
"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, laws, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, witness, witnesses, witness stand, taking the stand, swearing in, oath, oaths, taking an oath, defence, defense, defendant, defendants, client, clients, lightning, lightning rod, lightning rods, lying, liar, liars, lie, lies, dishonest, ethics, unethical, perjury, perjurer, perjurers, god, anger, angry, religious, religion
Tags:pinocchio, pinocchios diner, pinocchio's diner, fairy tale, fairy tales, nose, noses, nose growing, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars, health food, healthy eating, healthy eater, healthy eaters, saying what you want to hear, says what you want to hear, unrealistic, msg, no msg, veggie dog, veggie dogs, no calories, calorie, calories, greasy spoon, greasy spoons, fad diet, fad diets
"You don't look like a hurricane victim to me."
Tags:hurricane, hurricanes, hurrican victim, hurricane victims, tourist, tourists, poverty tourism, disaster, disasters, disaster tourism, disaster tourist, disaster tourists, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars, beggar, beggars, begging, panhandle, panhandler, panhandlers, wild story, wild stories, unlikely, unbelievable, skeptic, skeptics, skeptical, sceptic, sceptics, sceptical
"You should see the other guy! He's very big and just beat me in a bar fight."
"And no more sex scandals!"
Tags:scandal, scandals, politician, politicians, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars, dishonest, dishonesty, two-faced, mislead, misleads, misleading, integrity, lack of integrity, campaign, campaigns, campaign speech, campaign speeches, rally, rallies, campaign rally, campaign rallies, compulsive liar, compulsive liars, political leader, political leaders
"Congratulations, Dave! I don't think I've read a more beautifully evasive and subtly misleading public statement in all my years in government."
Tags:politics, politician, politicians, political, political leader, political leaders, government, governments, speech, speeches, public speaking, liar, liars, speech writer, speech writers, public statement, public statements, misleading, evasive, untrue, stretch the truth, avoid the problem, ambiguous
"I was the first in my family to lie about going to college."
"I banned the movie 'Christopher Robin' because people called me 'Winnie the Pooh.'""Maybe I should ban the movie 'Liar Liar.'"
Tags:president xi jinping, jinping, president of china, chinese president, trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, us president, delicate ego, delicate egos, egoism, egotistic, narcissism, narcissist, narcissists, ban, banned, banning, bans, banned films, film, films, banned movies, movie, movies, censorship, liar, lies, liars, lying, politicians, politician, political corruption, china
Jimmy B.'s guide to sleazeball
A politician making a speech is connected to a polygraph machine.
Tags:politics, politician, politicians, government, governments, capitol hill, washington, washington d.c., congress, house of representatives, representative, representatives, congressman, congressmen, senate, senator, senators, candidate, candidates, election, elections, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., america, american, speech, speeches, lie, lies, liar, liars, lie detector, lie detectors, polygraph, polygraphs
"It's a fabulous deal. Every time he lies I collect a royalty."
"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"
Tags:yoga, yoga class, yoga classes, yoga mat, yoga mats, exercise, exercising, exercises, exercise class, exercise classes, skipping class, liar, liars, dishonest, dishonesty, keeping up appearance, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, health fad, health fads, found out, caught red handed, fake, fakes, fraud, frauds
"I was afraid I was lying to myself, but, thank God, I passed the polygraph."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars, lie detector, lie detectors, polygraph, polygraphs, test, tests, testing, lying to myself, afraid, fearful, guilt, guilty, mental health