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'I'm afraid we've had the results back and it's bad news...he could live to be a hundred.'
'Okay this test is scheduled for three hours, Fruit fly, you can be excused if you need to die,'
'I'm writing you a prescription. Do you want a longer life with less quality or vice versa?'
"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."
Tags:doctor, doctors, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, o.a.p., checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, outliving your usefulness, usefulness, useful, physician, physicians, geriatrics, geriatric medicine, life expectancy, life expectancies, long life, long-life
"Well, how long do you want to live?"
'We're conducting experiments to dertermine which has a longer life, new phone technology, or a fruit fly.'
'So, where do you see youself by June?'
"Live today like you're gonna die tomorrow Gus. But we're fruit flies so it's true."
'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'
Mayfly Wisdom: Never put off til tomorrow...
'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'
"This meeting is going a little longer than some of your lifespans and I see you're starting to die off, so I'll wrap things up in the next few minutes."
"You have a 24-hour virus - of course, you'll be dead by then."
"His new year resolution was to sort out our pension..."
Providers struggle to come to terms with longevity issues...
"Drinking and smoking will certainly help you to get an 'enhanced annuity'. . ."
Tags:pension, pensions, pensioner, pensioners, pension fund, pension funds, retirement fund, retirement funds, retirement plan, retirement plans, retirement, retirements, financial adviser, financial advisers, lifestyle choice, lifestyle choices, lifestyle problem, life expectancy, life expectancies, health problem, health problems
"Plan on living long? I already am."
"With proper diet and exercise, you could possibly lower that 'seven to one' year ratio."
"If our lifespan is only a day I'm having a cigarette."
"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."
Tags:healthy lifestyle, healthy lifestyles, health nut, health nuts, active lifestyle, active lifestyles, fit, fitness, life expectancy, life expectancies, risk adverse, risk averse, risk aversion, afterlife, afterlives, unfair, unfairness, kale, healthy eating, nutritionist, nutritionists, unfair, unfairness
'An expiration date? Gee, all these years, I thought it was just a bunch of freckles!'
"Yes, even with all the progress they're making in geriatrics, marriage is still 'til death do you part."
Tags:wedding vow, wedding vows, marriage vow, marriage vows, geriatric care, life expectancy, life expectancies, pastor, pastors, priest, priests, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage counselling, premarital counselling, premarital counseling, pre-marital counseling, pre-marital counselling, engagement, engagements, wedding, weddings, geriatrics, married life
'I'll even throw in a brand new 3-year battery for your mother-in-law's peace of mind.'
"As a 400-year-old shark, you're the oldest animal on earth. What's the secret of your longevity?"
"Where do you see yourself in 200 years?"