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'If you look at paragraph 23 section 12 you'll see that your comprehensive life insurance does not in fact cover the thanksgiving holiday period.'
'Sorry. We can't pay on your life insurance policy. You apparently didn't read our 'living dead' clause.'
'The policy pays out in the case of accidental death, or if you can make it look like an accident.'
Insurance claim on Grandma
"Unfortunately, the premium for lemmings tends to be..shall we say...on the more expensive side."
'Don't you have anything else you could read to me other than my life insurance policy?'
"I'm not sure if your credit life insurance will pay off or not."
Cash in the Life Policy.
"No, Mrs. Johnson, in life insurance we don't have a policy that provides for the 'full replacement value' for your husband."
'All nine lives, you say?'
"I know what you're going to say: 'I hope you have plenty of life insurance'."
'Just as I thought...you can't collect on the life insurance by boring me to death.'
"Can I interest you in nine life policies?"
...the only thing I don't have is the commission you'll be making.
'I'm afraid your late wife's life insurance policy didn't cover culinary disasters.'
A man sells wine for $1 a bottle next to life insurance selling for $10 a bottle.
"Mr. Rod signed us up for a life insurance policy."
Term Life Insurance
'Your reaping index is 6.2' - 'Is that good or bad?' - 'It's very good...' - 'Well, that's a relief!' - '...for the insurance company... bu-wa-ha-ha!' - 'Oh.'
'The insurance company sent me to calculate your reaping index.' - 'Okay.' - 'I need you to complete this 24 page questionnaire.' - 'Okay.' - 'Do you have to loom?' - 'Company policy.'
'Hello, Ed? This is Ann. Could you bump up my husband's life policy by a million dollars?'
'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'
I'll come clean...I want to sell you some life insurance.