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'I wish I had learned more trivia.'
'If this ever stops running, just smack it here a bunch of times and it should start right up.'
"I want to be put on lifestyle support."
Tags:lifestyle, lifestyles, life support, life support system, life support systems, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, divorce, divorces, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, alimony, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, divorce payment, divorce payments, spousal support, maintenance, spousal maintenance, gold digger, gold diggers, goldigger
'The readings look good, but just in case, when was the last time the system was checked for bugs?'
'See? You missed one. When you pull the plug, be sure to pull them all.'
'He's resting comfortably.'
Snow man on an ice water drip.
'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'
Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'
'I would have been here sooner if not for a wonderful caring doctor in the hospital.'
"I'll ask just one more time...does this outfit make me look like Madonna?"
'Don't disconnect the life support until he's financially dead.'
'If things don't go well, tell me you'll pull the plug. I want to know you'll be provided for.'
"We managed to resuscitate him, but he's still very critical."
"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."
'I'll feel better about his recovery chances after he's able to be taken off life support.'
'Squeeze my hand if you want us to hold your job for you.'
'Then one day you're sick and old, hooked up to a machine...whoops.'
"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"
Tags:mumbo jumbo, pianist, pianists, headless, disembody, disembodied, injury, injuries, injured, bedside manner, hopeless, lost cause, lost causes, hopelessness, optimist, optimists, optimistic, life support, kept alive, head, heads, medical equipment, operation, operations, accident, accidents, nasty accident, nasty accidents, musician, musicians
'That's the radio, Allison, but I caught the symbolism.'
'We tried everything...I'm afraid your husband's going to be a human.'
"Why did you pull the plug?! It was a burnt out bulb....that's all."
"Pull the plum, Mrs. Carney."
Vicar says: 'You again.'
"We can't pull the plug. We're all still on her insurance."
Tags:living will, living wills, pull the plug, pulling the plug, life support, insurance, health insurance, dependent, dependents, dependency, children, adult child, healthcare, for-profit healthcare, immature, immaturity, lazy, laziness, generation gap, millennial, millennials, entitled, entitlement