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'Please don't hurt me! â€ I've got a wife and three kids and fourteen lifetime warranties!'
"My windproof, waterproof, shockproof lifetime guaranteed watch just fell down the sewer grate!"
'Under-the-bed monsters are pretty standard. We can remove it, but that'll void the lifetime warranty.'
'I offer a lifetime warranty. If your watch ever fails just call me and I'll tell you what time it is!'
"No for your lifetime, just for ITS..."
'Do you have your original warranty?'
'No, no. Steal this brand. They have a lifetime warranty.'