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"Looks like you're out for the season - you've got a torn rotator cuff."
Tags:history, myths, health, fitness, rotator cuff, rotator cuffs, injury, injuries, repetitive stress, throwing arm, throwing arms, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, zeus, jupiter, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, dl, disabled list, disabled lists, baseball, baseball player, baseball players, mankoff
"Relax, Pierson, I'm just working on my control."
Tags:executive, executives, manager, managers, boss, bosses, the boss, business manager, business managers, business executive, business executives, hierarchy, hierarchies, business hierarchy, business hierarchies, anger, anger management, bully, bullies, bullying, workplace bully, workplace bullies, workplace bullying, office bully, office bullies, office bullying, lightning, lightning bolt, lightning bolt, shout, shouting, yell, yelling, getting yelled at, anger control, extreme weather, freak weather, weather control, office control, employer, employers, bad employer, bad employers, bad manager, bad managers
"You'll see, this is going to cause real trouble."
Tags:religion, religious, god, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, cellular phone, cellular phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, smartphone, smartphones, app, apps, application, applications, technology, praying, prayer, prayers, plague, plagues, weather, apocalypse, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, prophet, prophets, love, romance, soulmate, soulmates, holy book, bible, bibles, biblical, devil, email, emails, e-mail, e-mails, game, games, social media, social networking, social network, social networks
Angel Uses Lightning Bolt Like Sniper Rifle
Tags:gun, guns, gunman, snipe, sniped, sniper, snipers, sniper rifle, scope, scoped, no scope, scoped in, aim, aimed, angel, angels, unlikely, heaven, heavens, heavenly, lightning, lightning bolt, bolt, bolt action, bolts, repent, repents, repenting, retribution, retribution, god, gods, godly, god above, zeus, jupiter, religious imagery, religion, religions, myth
"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."
'It's a good thing that you've got rubber-soled shoes on. That could have gone all the way through you.'
"All right. O.K. I'll admit that last request may have been a little over the top."
Tags:prayer, pray, praying, prayers, kneel, kneeling, god, gods, god in heaven, heaven, request, requesting, prayed, prays, religion, religious, religiously, religions, demanding, demand, demands, demanded, high maintenance, fickle, lightning, lightening, thunderbolt, thunderbolts, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, worship, worships
"That's it. I'm taking the buyout."
Tags:office worker, office workers, office work, office job, office jobs, downsize, downsizing, buyout, buyouts, bought out, act of god, acts of god, lightning, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, hit by lightning, fired, firing, getting fired, canned, can, canning, getting canned, getting the sack, sacking, sacked, laid off, laid-off, lay off, lay-off, lay offs, lay-offs, redundancy, made redundant, redundancies, unemployed, unemployment
"Gee, I always figured him for No. 1!"
"See if you can hit Florida."
Tags:aim, aimed, angel, angels, unlikely, heaven, heavens, heavenly, lightning, lightning bolt, bolt, bolt action, bolts, repent, repents, repenting, retribution, retribution, god, gods, godly, god above, zeus, jupiter, religious imagery, religion, religions, myth, florida, florida man, god, gods, region, regional, america, american, united states, us, usa
"He does the whole lightning-bolt-thing on line now."
Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts
Tags:zeus, greek gods, greek god, myth, myths, mythology, lightning, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, bolt, bolts, throwing, throwing arm, muscle, muscles, biceps, arm muscle, arm muscles, sport, sports, baseball, pitcher, pitchers, pitching, steroids, steroid use, scandal, scandals, injecting, injecting steroids, cheater, cheaters, illegal steroids, illegal steroid use, needle, needles, steroid abuse
The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.
Tags:zeus, jupiter, lightning, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, olympian, olympians, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, dare, dares, daring, challenge, challenges, drinker, drinkers, drinking, drinking buddy, drinking buddies, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, bar, bartender, bartenders, bartending, dart, dart game, dart games, bar game, bar games, drinking game, drinking games
Zeus lights a cigar with a lightning bolt.
"I hate to be a downer, but, statistically, people are more likely to die of heart disease than by getting
Tags:heart disease, zeus, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, god, gods, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, greek myth, greek mythology, statistics, hit by a bolt of lightning, stat, stats, unlikely, unlikely event, unlikely events, heart attack, heart attacks, heart disease, aim, aims, aiming, bad aim, poor aim, mock, mocks, mocking, disrespect, disrespects, disrespecting, disrespectful, throw, throws, throwing, bad shot, bad shots
Australia's Short-Lived God
Tags:secular, non-religious, damnation, damned, afterlife, afterlives, signing your soul away, sign your soul away, sell your soul, selling your soul, sell your soul to the devil, sign, singing, sings, lightning bolt, electricity company, electricity companies, electricity contract, contract, contracts
"I had no idea we had this kind of technology."
"I begged you not to buy that book by Christopher Hitchens."
Tags:christopher hitchens, atheist, atheists, atheism, god, gods, smite, smites, vengeance, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, hitchens, christian, christians, christianity, vengeful, tempt fate, tempting fate, pascal's wager, pascals wager, new atheist, new atheism, anti-theist, anti-theism, antitheist, antitheism
"It's something new I'm trying out. Death by chocolate."
Tags:religion, religious, greek, greece, roman, rome, ancient, history, historical, myth, myths, legend, legends, heaven, mt. olympus, mount olympus, god, gods, zeus, jupiter, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, lightning, death, dead, chocolate, chocolate bar, chocolate bars, candy bar, candy bars, dessert, desserts, pudding, puddings, health, diet, diets, unhealthy diet, unhealthy diets, new, trying out, innovation, innovations, innovative, creative
"And now here's Zeus with the weather."
Tags:god, gods, zeus, jupiter, lightning, lightning bolt, weather, weather man, weather-man, weatherman, myth, myths, mythological, mythology, greek, grecian, greece, greek myth, greek myths, greek mythology, thunderbolt, thunderbolts, tv, television, subvert, subversion, divert, diverted, diversion, channel, news, heaven, heavens
Tags:god, heaven, gods, christian, lightning, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, extreme weather, bad weather, dog, dogs, pet, pets, pet dog, pet dogs, dog owner, dog owners, playing fetch, fetch, mythology, greek mythology, myths, god of lightning, zeus, thor, norse mythology, play, playing, perun, indra, hinduism, thunder, thunder storm, thunder storms, thunderstorm, thunderstorms, god of thunder
"Let's see, where should Jerry hurt today?"
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, life after death, heaven, god, gods, mornings, target, targets, bulls-eye, bulls-eyes, bullseye, bullseyes, bulls eye, bulls eyes, dart, darts, injury, injuries, hurt, pain, painful, ache, aches, aching, hurting, thunderbolt, thunderbolts, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, random pains, random aches, health, fitness