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'I call it 'Research Paper Lite.' It contains a third fewer facts, but you'd never know it.'
'Big deal, fast forward two thousand years and Nigel Farage runs on light ale!
'Since retiring, Bill's become a light beer drinker - it gets light, he starts drinking beer.'
'If it's 186,000 miles per second, how come it takes so much longer for light beer to kick in?'
Einstein discovers that the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second, but the speed of Lite beer is only 65 MPH.
It may be time for you to retire to light beer commercials.
'Cellulite? What's that, a new brand of lite beer?'
'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'
"Uh oh, looks like another Lite Beer lorry got into trouble."
"Because anything but lite beer makes me feel bloated."