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"In my day, people died."
"Those once-in-a-lifetime events are beginning to add up."
"No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs... I've given up living so I can live longer."
'It's easy to understand why people are living longer today...When the Grim Reaper calls he gets an answering machine!'
"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."
"I knew if I started dating again so soon he'd flip out."