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Man with lizard t-shirt comes across a lizard with a man t-shirt.
'Listen, they've scored five straight goals. It's nothing personal, but I think we need someone with limbs playing goalie.'
"Ow! Ow! Ow!"
"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."
Tags:turtle, turtles, lizard, lizards, salamander, salamanders, reptile, reptiles, homeowner, homeowners, value, values, lose value, losing value, bad investment, bad investments, investment, investments, crash, crashes, crashing, market crash, market crashes, home, homes, house, houses, real estate, real estate investment, real estate investments
"You seem different."
Tags:godzillas, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, mothering, mothered, motherhood, hassle, hassles, nag, nags, nagging, nagged, nagger, naggers, care, cares, caring, cared, carer, carers, son, sons, offspring, lizard, lizards, reptile, reptiles, monster, monsters, dinosaurs, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Such a cute little thing-what do you call it?"
Tags:alien, aliens, monster, monsters, pet, pets, exotic pet, exotic pets, lizard, lizards, cute, cuteness, furry baby, furry babies, demon, demons, fur baby, fur babies, fur-baby, fur-babies, tea party, tea parties, insincere, insincerity, admiration, unusual pet, unusual pets, trend setter, trend setter, mutation, mutant, mutants, trend setting
"It's pronounced 'hee-la' monster. The 'g' sounds like an 'h.' "
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, animal, animals, lizard, lizards, reptile, reptiles, gila monster, gila monsters, language, languages, pronunciation, english, unhelpful, wasting time, biting, bite, emergency, emergencies
Lizard running with football.
Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.
"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"
Tags:monster, monsters, monster movie, monster movies, kaiju, lizard, lizards, giant lizard, giant lizards, waiter, waiters, waitstaff, wait staff, dessert, desserts, overeat, overeats, overeating, tokyo, san francisco, giant, giants, oversize, oversized, portion, portions, large portion, large portions, portion control
Buy one get one glued to the side of your face
"Eddie has made a wonderful husband and father for someone people thought was just a lounge lizard."
"I warned you, Silvia, all 8 foot lizard creatures are the same."
"It's like I'm invisible."
Tags:chameleon, chameleons, lizards, lizard, camouflage, camouflage, invisible, invisibility, blend in, blended in, couple, couples, couples counselling, couples therapy, counselling, therapy, relationship, relationships, relationship counselling, relationship therapy, relationship issues, relationship problems, feeling unheard, feeling invisible
'Whoa I never said I had ED. I said I had reptile dysfunction.'
"The oldest sibling always has to be the center of attention."
Tags:monster, monsters, monster attack, monster attacks, lizard, lizards, dino, dinos, dinosaur, dinosaurs, sibling rivalry, sibling rivalries, sibling, siblings, family life, family-life, centre of attention, attention seeker, attention seekers, monster movie, monster movies, monster film, monster films, disaster movie, disaster movies
"We'd cook out more often if it weren't for these damned monitor lizards!"
'Take two tons of aspirin and call me in the morning.'
"I'll be damned if I'll let society tell me who's fluffy and who's not."
Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'
'...and the award for best newcomer goes to...'
"Hey! Green eyes!"
The Quack Quack Diaries: Sal E. Mander's Swamp Swipe!
Tags:comic book, comic books, comic, comics, narrative, narratives, quack quack, duck, ducks, diary, diaries, journal, journals, childrens book, children's book, childrens books, children's books, satire, satires, satirical, pseudo, lizard, lizards, florida, everglades, national park, national parks