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'So, how much can you lend me?'
'What? You've never had a loan application from a small business owner before?'
"Louie, you apply for a loan while Rocco heads in through this door and files for bankruptcy."
Tags:robber, robbers, robbery, robberies, bank, banks, banking, bank robber, bank robbers, loan, loans, bank loan, bank loans, fraud, fraudulent, fraudulence, heist, heists, bank heist, bank heists, bankruptcy, bankrupt, file, files, filing, scam, scams, scam artist, scam artists, plan, plans, planning, loan application, loan applications, conspire, conspires, conspiring, defraud
I'm afraid your loan will be stuck in underwriting until you've each had a full panic attack.'
'The bank won't give us a loan for a new roof because we both had a vaccination for shingles.'
'How much do you want?' - 'How much have you got?'
'I'm afraid we can't use your other outstanding loans as collateral.'
'I just need enough money to get out of debt.'
'Here's a check for the loan you applied for. Please don't deposit it until Monday.'
Self Service Loan
'I do admire a small business owner with a sense of humour.'
"But If I had enough collateral to cover the amount of the loan, I wouldn't need the loan in the first place!"
"The bank has completed the loan application review phase. We're now in the loan denial phase."
'Looks good. Let me run it past the number-crunchers.'
Tags:beg, begs, begging, public humiliation, public humiliations, humiliation, humiliations, humiliated, cat, cats, feline, felines, dog, dogs, canine, canines, natural enemy, natural enemies, loan officer, loan officers, banker, bankers, unprofessional, bank loan, bank loans, loan application, loan applications
"It's collateral. What does it look like?"
Tags:beetle, beetles, dung beetle, dung beetles, insect, insects, entomologist, entomologists, entomology, dung, bank loan, bank loans, loan, loans, loan officer, loan officers, money lender, money lenders, money lending, borrowing money, money borrowing, borrow, borrows, collateral, banker, bankers, loan application, loan applications
'Loans 3.5% Great. I'll have one of those.'
"My wife is quite keen on checking the finer details before we sign anything."
"Loaning me your tool box was not exactly what I had in mind."
Tags:home improvement, home improvement loan, home improvement loans, loan, loans, seek a loan, seeking a loan, request, requests, loan application, loan applications, apply, applies, applying, application, applications, tool box, tool boxes, do it yourself, fixer upper, fixer uppers, bad credit, poor credit, bad credit score, bad credit scores
"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"
"We can strike the clause that allows us to take your firstborn male child if you miss a payment. It's really just in there because people expect it to be."
Tags:loan department, loan departments, loan, loans, debt, debts, loan contract, loan contracts, borrower, borrowers, lender, lenders, loan officer, loan officers, loan applicant, loan applicants, loan application, loan applications, loan repayment, loan repayments, firstborn, firstborns, first born, first child, penalty, penalties, banker, bankers, bank, banks
"Sounds good, but what do I have to put up as collateral?"
EZ Loan - Thumbs Down.
"I didn't say I wanted to be alone, I said I wanted a loan!"
Computer gives thumbs down to loan application.