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'... so I put the combination in the safest place I could think of.'
'I'm tired of you tracking soot and dust into the house. Please call a locksmith next year and use the front door.'
'I lost my key to the kingdom.'
"For a while I was worried. I was afraid you wouldn't need locks up here."
'I'm a locksmith I'm making a bolt for the door.'
Lost your keys, but can't afford a certified locksmith? Hire they guys at Very Cheap, but Very Effective Door Opening Service.
Environmentally Friendly Technology: The wood burning key machine.
'Did you remember to lock the house?'
'The fellow must have a pace maker because he collapsed when I fired the garage door opener at him.'
'I became a contractor after my master insisted I become a working dog.'
'Joe, would you please throw me the car keys?'
'I think we've found your problem. It's a Yale lock, but you have a Harvard key.'
Concern #23 on Class 5 rapids: who's got the car keys.
One way of making sure your sandwich bag stays securely closed.
Hysterical Marker, Welcome to Pennsylvania, the Keystone State, Home of the World's Largest Pun.
'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'
'What do you mean you can't find the key?'
'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that a house was left unlocked in New York City for a week, and nothing was stolen.'
'Sorry, I can't help your friend with lockjaw.'
'It may be tacky to accept advertising, but how else am I supposed to raise money to feed you all?' 'Don't have a chimney, but want me to visit? Get me a spare key from McWit Locks.'
'What do you mean you lost the keys?'
'What do you mean we need a locksmith?'
Single locksmith in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your locks.
'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'
'You're locked out and want me to make a house call, Dr. McWit. Only if you'll make one for me in the future.'