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'You're type A+? Your personal ad said you were AB.' 'It must have been a type O.'
Lonely Hearts - Men seeking anything that stays still long enough.
"Ok, so I lied about my aga!"
'I didn't say I had a house and garage! I said I liked house and garage!'
"How does this sound: 'Single, nearly solvent company seeks relationship with like-minded, prosperous multinational.'"
'The dish of the day madam? He's sitting by the window. He's 32, single, and runs a very successful art gallery.'
'Don't be discouraged. Somewhere out there is a girl warthog who will think you're extremely good looking.'
'We have been together for 22 years. Not bad for a $5 personal ad.'
A prisoner pulls out his heart.
'Are you fit, attractive male...?'
"Your online profile said you weren't the flighty type."
'First of all I'll check to see if we have any blind ladies on our database - OK?'
'I'll check, but I'm pretty sure we don't have anybody quite that desperate right now.'
'I want romance, passion, love.' - 'Tangible things only, Buddy.'
'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'
'You must be the young-at-heart, 40 something, country loving, non smoking, veggie with the GSOH,'
'It shouldn't be difficult to find a date: The classifieds are full of lone wolf ads...'
Lonely hearts club: 'Sorry, we're not that lonely.'
Lonely fork looking for friends.
'Mary, it's lonely at the top. Please take out a personal ad for me.'
Frankenstein's monster writing a lonely hearts ad.
Woman seeks male companion...
I'm looking to settle down with a nice light bulb, should I try the internet.
COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'