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"I'm sorry, Carol. I just feel like I should be seeing someone closer to my own neighborhood."
"We met online."
"I'm going to have to stop seeing you, Maggie, until I can afford a car."
'Now you call? Now that fierce competition has reduced long-distance to little more than a cheap, unprofitable commodity. Now you call your mother?'
'If you don't start throwing farther, I'm going to change my long distance service.'
'I'm sorry, but just don't think I can handle a long distance relationship right now.'
"I won't really have time to miss you: I'll just be waking up when you come back from your migration..."
'I don't do long distance relationships.'
'It's a new record — I switched long-distance companies eleven times today.'
'This dingo penpal of his - they're Australian aren't they?'
"I'm looking for a long-distance relationship."