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Superhero in need of an eye test.
Tags:eyesight, farsighted, farsightedness, bad eyesight, poor eyesight, nearsighted, nearsightedness, short sighted, long sighted, eye test, eye tests, optician, opticians, superhero, superheroes, superpower, superpowers, super power, super powers, hero, heroes, accident, accidents, unprofessional, eye doctor, eye doctors, fatal mistake, fatal mistakes
"Sometimes I wonder if English really is my native tongue."
Tags:newspaper, newspapers, bad newspaper, bad newspapers, tabloid, tabloids, the tabloids, journalist, journalists, journalism, tabloid journalist, tabloid journalists, bad english, native tongue, reading, morning paper, the morning papers, long sighted, long sightedness, farsighted, farsightedness, poor english, poor grammar, falling standards
"Have you seen the glasses I had on when I came in."
'Good news. It's not pink eye or a pig sty...just mud in your eye.'
Pirate's Eye Chart.
"Foursquare and several beers ago..."
Tags:gettysburg address, the gettysburg address, abraham lincoln, lincoln, former president, former presidents, monumental act, farsighted, longsighted, far farsightedness, longsightedness, far sighted, long sighted, four score and seven years ago, speech, speeches, famous speech, famous speeches, reading glasses, gettysburg national cemetery, the civil war, american civil war, battle of gettysbury
'Npotcz? I think it's one of those new government regulatory agencies.'
Large Print Laptop.
'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'
'And now if you could close the other 650 eyes and read the bottom line...'
'See what I mean? Your eyesight's fine, you just don't look very good.'
What makes you think I need my eyesight tested?
... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.
Optometrist meeting agenda gets smaller on each line.
'What do you mean you can't read the top line?.'
'I've lost my glasses and can't look for them until I find them.'
'Fine, I'll take them.'
Glasses to find other glasses.
Large Print Section of the Library.
Reading Over your Shoulder
Tags:parrot, parrots, pet parrot, pet parrots, newspaper, newspapers, reading the newspaper, reading over your shoulder, glasses, spectacles, long sighted, farsightedness, far sighted, farsighted, long sightedness, couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships, imitate, imitating, imitation
NHS/Private Eye Care.
"Your new spectacles will cost...."
Optometrist practical jokes
'I need new glasses. These are all scratched from rattling round in my purse.'