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'The doctor doesn't like computers, he prefers to lose patients' records the old fashioned way.'
'What the... there's the gold earring I lost when we did his triple bypass four years ago.'
Yard Sale at the Romneys'
'Maybe dad shouldn't have been carving the pumpkin while his team was losing on TV.'
Save the bacon,
The Tiny Phone.
Tags:phones, phone, landline, landlines, cell, cells, mobile, mobiles, tiny, mini, miniature, miniatures, noise, noises, ring, ringing, rings, panel, panels, small, minuscule, impractical, unfeasible, tininess, mislaid, lost, losing, loses, hidden, mystery, mysteries, legend, legends, myth, myths, mythical, find, finding, search, searching, searched, searches
'...If you really loved me, you'd transfer me to a preschool with a winning team.'
Tags:basketball, preschool, preschools, nursery, nurseries, toddler, toddlers, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, nba, national basketball association, scout, scouts, scouting, scouted, love, loves, loving, win, wins, winning, winner, lose, loses, losing, loser, transfer, transfers, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
Eighty-nine percent of all NASCAR accidents are caused by distracted cell phone users.
Tags:car, cars, drive, driving, driven, drove, drives, race, races, racing, raced, racer, racers, win, winning, wins, won, winner, winners, lose, loser, losers, losing, loses, lost, race car, race cars, racecar, racecars, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, crash, crashing, crashed, in the bleachers
'Ha! Fake out!'
Tags:joke, jokes, joking, joker, jokers, prank, pranks, prankster, pranksters, swim, swimming, swims, swam, swimmer, swimmers, diver, divers, diving, dives, dove, race, races, racing, raced, racer, racers, win, winning, wins, won, winner, winners, lose, loser, losers, losing, loses, lost, start, in the bleachers
'Yes, yes! Fries, too! Hurry!!'
'The chef lost a gold crown while he was making the salad, There's a $50 reward if you find it.'
'If anybody back at the office gets wind of this, we're gonna be the laughingstock of the company.'
"I've decided to leave public office because I lost the election."
Tags:election, elections, president, presidents, presidential, senator, senators, congressman, congressmen, congressional representative, congressional representatives, lose, loses, losing, lost, campaign, campaigns, campaigning, speech, speeches, concession speech, concession speeches, concede, concedes, conceding, loss, losses, politician, politicians, retire, retires, retiring, retirement, ousted, oust, ousts, ousting, in denial, denial
'How could you kids be so irresponsible?! You bury your dad in the sand and then lose him, knowing full well that the car keys are in his pocket!'
Tags:baseball, baseballer, baseballers, base ball, win, wins, winning, winner, winners, won, lose, loses, loser, losers, losing, lost, sore loser, sore losers, sour grapes, bad loser, bad losers, good game, good games, bite me, insult, insults, sportsmanship, ignorant, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
Tired of being yelled at, employees at Lufner Industries discovered a way to lace Mr. Lufner's coffee with a solid form of nitrous oxide.
Tags:nitrous, oxide, oxides, laugh, laughs, laughing, laughter, cheerful, cheerfulness, fed up, had enough, annoy, annoys, annoyed, annoying, employee, employees, lace, laces, lacing, laced, coffee, coffees, tire, tires, tired, tiring, lose, loses, losing, lost, presentation, presentations, close to home
'Getting warmer... warmer... hot... boiling hot...'
Tags:football, american football, footballer, footballers, head, heads, lose, loses, lost, losing, find, finds, finding, found, finder, finders, temperature, temperatures, direct, directs, directing, direction, directions, guide, guides, guiding, guided, body, bodies, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"They finally found my lost luggage from 1972."
The Complete Cycle.
'I'll be back later, Marge. I'm going out to build some humility.'
'We did a great job obtaining non-profit tax status. That calls for bonuses all around!'
"That's my best advice to you, Mr. Gilbert. Try not to reject it out of hand simply because it also happens to be Mike Lupica's advice to the Mets."
Tags:advice, adviser, advisers, advisor, advisors, baseball, baseball team, baseball teams, new york, lose, loses, losing, loser, losers, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, sports column, sports columns, sports columnist, sports columnists, mike lupica, reject, rejection, rejections, bad advice, source, sources
'You have a balanced investment portfolio. Everything you own is losing money equally.'
'I got it! Let's get everyone together, clean up that old building out back, and put on a musical!'