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'For the jillionth time, I have looked everywhere! That winning lottery ticket has got to be in his pants!'
"If I won the lottery, I would go on living as I always did."
Tags:rich, riches, wealth, wealthy, well-off, affluent, finances, money, the one percent, the 1%, lottery, lotteries, playing the lottery, gambling, gambler, gamblers, winning the lottery, winner, winners, lottery winner, lottery winners, winning, dream, dreams, social status, social class, upper class, no change, status quo
"Hit 'em right after they won the lottery."
"Those two are recent Powerball money. The people by the table are old state-lottery money."
"You'll be sorry you made that crack if I win the lottery."
This Week's Winning Numbers
Tags:lottery, the lottery, gambling, gambler, gamblers, winning numbers, mathematical symbol, mathematical symbols, roman numerals, overcomplication, over complication, over complicated, over-complicated, lottery balls, state lottery, state lotteries, betting, number, numbers, math joke, math jokes, maths joke, maths jokes
I'm a member of four class action suits and I play the lottery each week. That's my retirement plan.
'I'm sorry. The possibility that you may have won $10 million in the sweepstakes won't do as collateral.'
"I've just been notified by Publisher's Clearing House that I may have already won ten million dollars, but in case I haven't I need money to fix my driveway."
Trying to make ends meet in a parallel universe.
'My investment objective is to keep up with my neighbors, the Joneses, who just won the lottery.'
A man shows up to a lottery winner's door with a 1040 form.
Tags:1040, 1040 form, 1040 forms, tax, taxes, tax season, tax seasons, tax form, tax forms, tax return, tax returns, income, income bracket, income brackets, tax bracket, tax brackets, lotto, lottery, lottery winner, lottery winners, lottery winning, win, wins, winning, winner, winners, irs, i.r.s., internal revenue service, file taxes, files taxes, filing taxes, audit, audits, auditing, auditor, auditors, accountant, accountants, personal accountant, personal accountants, winning, winnings
"My pension plan has always been to invent something and get rich fast, but now it's winning the lottery."
'Retirement plan? Well, every week a dollar of your salary goes toward the purchase of a lottery ticket.'
"As a potential lottery winner, I totally support tax cuts for the wealthy."
Tags:wealthy, wealth, wealthy people, poor people, poor, rich, rich people, blue collar, blue collar worker, blue collar workers, blue collar job, blue collar jobs, pub, pubs, bar, bars, drink, drinks, drinking, drinker, drinkers, chat, chatting, lottery, lotto, sweepstake, gamble, gambler, gamblers, gambling, rip-off, tax cuts
'I want to give back to my community by helping others. Aren't lottery winners a particularly sad and needy group?'
Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.
"Peggy was so excited that we won something on the lottery ticket, I didn't have the heart to tell her it was only two dollars!"
'I only need a job until I win the lottery.'
Angel Wins Publisher's Clearing House
'Health Clinic for the insured: Practice limited to lottery winners only.
"I won a million dollars in an online lottery, and as I was tranferring the money to my bank account, the computer froze."
'Wow! What luck... we've won the lottery.'
"Oh, by the way, as you were on your way down here your lottery ticket won seventeen million dollars."
Tags:hell, welcome to hell, devil, devils, demon, demons, satan, fire, flame, flames, new arrival, death, dead, money, gambling, gambler, gamblers, lottery, lotteries, playing the lottery, lottery ticket, lottery tickets, game, games, won, winning the lottery, million, millions, million dollars, fortune, unlucky, lucky, fortunate, unfortunate, good luck, bad luck, bad day, worst day, rich, wealth, wealthy, riches, poor, man, men, psychology, failure, failed, stress, stressful, unfulfilled dreams